Page 20 of Possession

I shrugged. “I normally don’t drink, but I did tonight and I’m feeling—”

“Sick?” she guessed.

I nodded.

“I could tell. You went pale when I walked up to you.” She bit her lip. “Are you feeling better with the fresh air?”

It was still too warm at night, and the oven we were standing in was only mildly helping. “I think it’s the heat that’s getting to me,” I admitted.

The thin, white fabric of my cotton V-neck was damp with sweat.

“I’m parked just behind Bellows, we could sit and talk? I have this wonderful thing called air conditioning.” She smirked. “Come on.”

She dropped my hand as she led the way. My heart pounded as I followed her. I silently wished for the bottle of Jack, for my sketch pad, something… anything to distract or hide behind. I didn’t talk.

“This is me.” She pulled a remote key out of her purse and the headlights of a red SUV blinked.

Kate walked to the driver side and got into the car. The engine started and I stared at the tinted windows.

She’s not her

“That’s the point,” I said to no one in particular and opened the passenger side door. Acoustic guitars and faint female vocals greeted me as I sat in the passenger seat. No bass. No hard lyrics. Nothing to disguise what I really was, nothing to keep the Devil fed. The voices in my head celebrated. I swallowed as I situated myself into the leather seat. She was parked in the almost vacant parking lot behind Bellows that was reserved for the businesses next door. The cool air of her A/C calmed my nerves, and I leaned back resting my head onto the plush seat.

We didn’t talk at first and just listened to the music. After a while, my voices grew bored of mocking me, and I was able to relax and actually enjoy the sound of my own breathing, of hers, nervous with anticipation.

“Do you like working with your brothers?” Kate’s voice was small as she turned and faced me, her head still resting on the seat. Her mouth pulled into a grin as I met her stare.

“Sometimes.” I chuckled and I almost didn’t recognize it. The words felt fuzzy and I licked my lips. Kate’s eyes fell to my mouth and my pulse quickened.

“I work retail over at The Gateway Mall. Very respectable place called Victoria’s Secret, you might have heard of it?” Her lips pulled wide into a warm smile.

“A job is a job.”

It was her turn to lick her lips and I briefly wondered what she would taste like.Would the gloss of her lips be sticky on mine, was it flavored?

She laughed and turned her head forward to look out the windshield. I thought we were going back to the silent waiting game, but instead she spoke softly about the little incidentals of her life. She started off telling me about her love for comic book movie remakes and bad Chinese food. She told me about the time a customer’s husband propositioned her in the dressing room. She told me how she hated living alone, and how she thought for sure she’d be in L.A. by now, acting, doing something more than wasting away in her one-room apartment. She told me about high school, how she had been a cheerleader with a bad reputation, the reputation that had followed her to the shitty community college she tried to attend every other semester. I was the wrong brother in the car. She was coming clean about the disappointments of her life, and it should have been Kieran who was here to receive her confession.

She turned her head to look at me again. Her cheek against the leather seat. Her eyes seemed glassy, either from tears, or her previous drinks. “My life isn’t what it was supposed to be.”

“It never is.” My body tensed as she reached across the console and rested her hand on my thigh.

“Truth or Dare?” she asked with a flirty smile, and the heat of her palm on my leg soaked through my jeans and stirred awake the man inside the lost places of my mind.

“Truth,” I answered.

“I do things, Declan, things I shouldn’t, to feel better about myself. I’m tired of being alone.”

So was I.

The rise and fall of her chest drew my eyes to the low dip of her dress. My fingers ached to touch her. Something coiled inside my gut and all I wanted to do was tell her something real. Confess to her as she had to me. The air felt thin as I said, “I’m tired of waiting. Waiting to feel something. Waiting to burn. Waiting to fucking fall apart.” I swallowed as her eyes locked on mine. They were bright as the first light of morning as she eased her body across the center console of the car.

My eyes on her mouth, my head full of the white noise of hope as I readied myself to kiss her.Kate.I’d only kissed maybe five girls in my lifetime and, as her lips met mine, the white noise parted and allowed the expectant quiet to bathe the space between us. She moaned a delicate breath as her hands wrapped into my hair. My hands found her hips as she moved onto my lap. Her skirt hitched up as she situated herself above me, straddling me. I placed my hand on the warmth of her thighs as she licked my bottom lip. She tasted like beer, and the plastic flavor of her gloss coated my tongue as I deepened the kiss with a groan. She rocked her hips against me and I hardened beneath her.

She’s not her, and she’s not for you.

She’s dirty, can’t you see her shadows.

Don’t stop.

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