Page 147 of Sin & Sapphire

Angelo didn’t want to be here in the States. Valentin didn’t want to be part of the violence that the American mafia brought. And Luca had never ever indicated he was interested in repudiating his father so he could marry me.

My heart broke.

These men would never need me as much as I needed them. I was an albatross around their necks, and as much as they might enjoy fucking me, I couldn’t be what they needed in the long term.

I had to find a way to save Nonno and Valentin’s mother.

Angelo returned wearing a fresh suit. He and Valentin bent their foreheads together, sharing a quiet moment.

“Princess,” Valentin began, then stopped, as if he didn’t know what to say.

I lifted my chin. Mafia women had been sending their men off to war for centuries, and this was no different. “Give Nikolai my regards.”

He nodded sharply, and then two men walked out the door, taking my heart with them.

“Baby?” Luca asked as I stared at the door from the dining table.

“I should go to mass tomorrow,” I said. “Show the community that I’m here and that someone’s in charge.”

“Good idea. Give them the illusion that you’re running things, to give me time to work on my father,” Luca said absently. Theillusion. Never had I been so quickly and completely marginalized.

A plan crystalized in my head. I could save them. I could fix this.

“Right,” I said, standing up. “And now?”

“I’ll stay the night, and then you’ll go to mass in the morning.”

54

ANA

I slipped outof Luca’s arms, brushing my lips against his forehead. He turned in the bed, his arms brushing over the warm sheets, reaching out for me in his sleep. Angelo and Valentin had gone to the meeting with the local bratva, and Luca and I had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and worried about the future.

Standing there in the light of the rising sun, staring down at his deep brown curls and his peaceful expression, I finally admitted the truth to myself.

I loved these men too fiercely to allow them to break my heart, to grind me into dust like my father had my mother, to watch them grow weary of me and eventually leave me.

Wanting to keep me safe and wanting to love me weren’t the same.

I might be good for fucking, and even be the object of their obsession, but time after time, I’d proven that the only thing I was good for was my pussy.

I could save them, and the thing I hated most about myself would do it.

When I slipped out the door, I was delighted to find a Costa soldier instead of one of the men Angelo had hired. “Johnny,” I said, smiling at his familiar face. “How’s the baby?”

He grinned. “Took her first steps last week.”

My heart warmed. This—this was what I’d always done for my father, what I’d never been able to communicate the importance of. If we didn’t take care of our people, none of this fucking mattered.

“Can I see a picture?”

Johnny got out his phone, and we cooed over the little girl.

“Such a proud papa,” I teased him, elbowing him gently in the side.

“Yes, ma’am,” he agreed readily, slipping his phone back into his pocket and eyeing me warily.

“I need to talk to Enzo,” I said.

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