Page 80 of Bad for Me

“Touch yourself.”

She reached back, finding her clit first, and toys with it until I can see her arousal on her fingers. I pulled up a chair behind her, my open coat still on. I pulled it off and slung it over the back of the chair before I sat. Rolling up the sleeves of my cashmere sweater, I sat and watched her finger herself. I pretend it’s my Mary, and I unbuttoned my jeans, inserting a hand inside.

Should I let her touch me?

I thought about it for a few moments and decided I didn’t want to wait any longer. I stood, walking around to the front of her, grabbing her arm and pulling her behind me to the bedroom.

The cabin wasn’t large, not nearly as large as our house in Vermont. But this place wasmycreation, my idea, and everything inside of it was placed by me. From the heavy, satin curtains of deep purple; to the over-the-top Adirondack themed chandeliers—it was all my design. The bedroom had French double doors that opened to a massive California King bed with feather-down pillows and a comforter that resembled a fluffy cloud. Fur throws draped the bottom of the bed and the powder pink chaise lounge chair beside it.

I sat at the edge of the long chair, jeans unbuttoned and hair falling from my bun around my face. “Kneel.”

She knelt in front of me, placing her hands on her knees, waiting for my next command.

Fuck, did I love telling her what to do.

“Take off my pants, like a good girl. Then maybe I’ll let you taste my cunt.”

She was eager, so eager, and I watched her hands tremble as she unzipped me and slid them down over my hips.

I wore a baby-blue thong that was sheer, and she paused, looking up at me through the mask. My heart raced as I reached for it, knowing full well the weight of the decision.

If I saw her face, then this would all be real. I’d be the cheating wife and she’d be my lesbian mistress. For the first time in a year, I was ready to accept that. So very needy to have her mouth on me.

I decided it was worth it, tearing the mask from her face.

Initially, the look of horror on her face confuses me, and I sat there in shock as well.

Sitting back on her heels, Mary covered her mouth with her hands.

“What the fuck?!” I stood, hot fury of betrayal and recognition blurring my vision.

She said nothing, just knelt before me, face in hands.

I didn’t know what to say or how to react. Part of me wanted to slap her, for fooling me and making me believe she was some innocent new kid just trying to find a place to fit in. A place like my cheer squad.

Was she even a student? At what lengths had she gone to get near me? I felt dizzy, sinking back onto the chair and biting back tears.

“I’m sorry…I know this must seem crazy to you, but I can explain…”

She was clutching my thighs now, pushing her torso in between them and trying to draw me to her. Her hands were on my face, forcing me to look at her. I saw nothing but fear and worry, the stormy eyes of a lost soul.

I felt like a lost soul, too. But she could never understand my reasonings, no one ever did.

“Then explain, Mary. Because this is so fucked up…no, this is like a fucked up lie that’s bigger than the both of us.”

“I…I know. I just…I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that first night. That first night waslife changing.I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

I stood, pulling away from her touch, feeling like I had been fooled again into making a choice that wasn’t even under my control.

“You understand I want tochoosesomething like this myself, right? Do you understand that living this double life hasn’t beeneasyfor me?If I followed through with this lifestyle, so many people would turn their backs on me.”

I was hugging myself now, pacing back and forth in front of the window.

She was standing beside the chaise now, covering her naked breasts as if I wasn’t just looking them over like a hungry lion ready for the meal they’d been chasing.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still want to take her to the bed and cover her body in kisses.

“Idounderstand. I really do, Ava.”

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