Page 30 of Bad for Me

I attempt to smile. It feels brittle, but it's all I have right now. “That’s really sweet of you, Justin, thank you.”

His mouth twitches into a tight smile, but it doesn’t last long.

“But I, ah, I think there’s been some miscommunication. The Carltons and I, we have a…” My voice trails off.

WhatdoI have with the Carltons? A small truce? An agreement where they don’t blackmail me with a video that shows me messing around with a client as long as I comply with their demands, as simple and lax as they are? My stomach sinks. This doesn’t look great, that’s for sure. And ifIcan’t shine a positive light on the situation, how can I expect others to find a good reason to understand it?

And why should I put a positive spin on a sketchy situation?

Because they’ve given you the freedom to explore what you’ve only been able to dream about, a small voice says.

I mull this thought over, capturing my bottom lip between my teeth as I do. This may not have been the right way to go about setting up a relationship between the three of us… but isn’t this what I’ve wanted, at least on some level? I’ve fantasized about being sandwiched between the two of them. Their lives, so full of fun and adventure, friendship and love—who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?

But my situation, being Bernard’s employee and Isaac’s therapist, just didn’t lend itself to their world. I never would’ve bridged the gap myself.

So Bernard and Isaac did it for me.

And as terrifying as it is, the thought of continuing this experiment and seeing how we fit into one another’s life… It excites me. My body warms at the thought of being back with them. If it doesn’t work out, Bernard promised to get rid of the video. As naive as it might be to believe him, I do. What would he gain from any of it if he found out we simply didn’t mesh well in each other’s lives?

So, maybe how they went about this whole thing is a little twisted—but twisted is exactly what I needed to get what I wanted. Now that I’ve had a taste of whatcouldbe? I’m addicted. I’m addicted to the Carltons and I need to get back to them.

As I turn in my seat, I catch Justin checking the rearview mirror.

“Is something wrong?” I ask him.

He starts to shake his head but stops. “We’re being followed.”

I lean forward to check the side mirrors. No one. I twist in my seat to look behind us that way, but still, I don’t see any other cars on the road. Turning back around, I sit and bite my tongue. This must be paranoia.

Time to get back to the issue at hand. My eyes jump to Justin’s profile.

“Justin, you seem like a good man, and I appreciate what you did to help me,” I start, my voice and resolve stronger now that I’m confident about what I want. “But I’m ok, I promise. Bernard and Isaac don’t mean me any harm. We’re allconsentingadults in a unique relationship. Do you understand?”

My kidnapper blinks rapidly, his brows nearly touching as they furrow. “You… youwantto be with them?”

“Yes!” My head bobs in earnest. “I know what you saw may have been alarming, but it’s all fine. So if you could please turn around and take me back, I would be eternally grateful. I’m sure I can talk Bernard and Isaac into not to pressing charges if you can take me to their house and?—”

“Go back? No!” The steering wheel jerks to the right dramatically, and I shriek as we skid across the road as he takes an exit. The car teeters to one side before righting itself. “I can’t take you back. I’m saving you!”

My hand flies to my chest, covering my rapidly beating heart.

“Justin, I understand you think you’re saving me, but I don’t want this. I’m ok with Bernard and Isaac. They?—”

“No, no, no!” He lifts the gun and points it at me. “You’re messed up in the head. H-he twisted your thoughts. He’s good at that, you know. He had me thinking something was wrong withmeb-but there’s not! There’s something wrong with him!”

As he talks, the gun jerks around. It worries me immensely how his finger remains planted firmly on the trigger.

“Alright, alright.” To give myself a second, I carefully fold my hands in my lap and take a steadying breath. When my heartbeat returns to a relatively normal pace, I take a different approach. “So, what’s going to happen now? Where are we off to? The police station?”

Justin shakes his head, the gun returning to his lap. “No, we can’t go there! Dr. Carlton will play his mind tricks on them. I-I’ll keep you safe at my house. I’ve been fortifying it over the past few weeks. Y-you’ll be safe.”

He plans to keep me in his house? In a place he’s fortified? That absolutely can not happen. I will not be locked up in someone’s house as they have a mental breakdown.

“No.” The word comes out sharp and firm. “Justin, I need you to hear me. I’m not consenting to coming back to your place. You just said you got me away from the Carltons to save me, but you’ll be undoing all that good will if you take me to your house.”

“But—”

“No, you need to listen,” I stare at his profile, using my most professional voice. “Either pull over and give me a phone to call someone to come pick me up or drop me off at my house. I do not want, or need, your help. Please hear me and respect my wishes.”

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