Page 233 of Bad for Me

“Hey, breathe,” Colin says as he tucks me in and scoots under the covers behind me. He pulls me into a tight hold, until there’s no space between my back and his front. “I can hear you thinking.”

“Did you know about this beforehand?” I’m almost afraid to ask, but I need to know.

“Honestly, it was discussed as a possible plan, a backup of sorts. It’s not my favorite way, but I understand why Jude did it. It doesn’t change how I feel about you, or the fact that you belong to me—to all of us.”

My heart breaks. It seems everyone knew but me. They decided about my safety—my life—and never included me. The conversation we had in Jude’s office must have been for show.

Of the three, Colin had always been able to see through me the best. He knows I’m upset. His fingers sneak under my shirt, trailing along my stomach as they soothe me.

“I’m not sorry, little flower. I’ll never apologize for protecting you.”

* * *

Do you,Father Jude Harvest, take Wisteria Jean Flowers to be your wife, the embodiment of your love and faith’s bounty? To have and to hold, to care for in sickness and in health, in good and bad seasons, in this life and the next?”

“I do.” Jude looks ever the villain in a sharp black suit, and green bowtie. He smiles at me as his black pupils overtake his irises, making them appear hollow. I feel them sucking my life away, leaving behind a darkness that will only ruin me.

“Do you, Wisteria Jean Flowers, take Father Jude Harvest to be your husband, the embodiment of your love and faith’s bounty? To have and to hold, to care for in sickness and in health, in good and bad seasons, in this life and the next?”

Colin and Cain stand behind him as his best men, both not making eye contact with me. My whole body shakes hard enough that the lace on my dress rustles.

I can’t do this.

My thoughts send everything into a tailspin. The ground quakes, and the rafters of the gathering house shake, raining dust down on us. I take a chance and run as fast as my heels allow me, out of the barn and into the evening dusk.

Footsteps pound after me, and I peer over my shoulder. Instead of seeing Jude, or Cain, or Colin, I see a big, black…thing. With horns and hooves. Fur. Eyes as black as night, and a forked tongue that flicks at me. It stands erect like a man, but it’s a beast.

“You’ll never escape me, thistle.You’re mine to have and to hold, to care for in sickness and in health, in good and bad seasons, in this life and the next,” it growls.

I race as far away as I can, truly believing I lost it. Until I run smack into the beast…

I wake up, drenched in sweat. My heart pounds in my aching chest, and I feel like I’m free falling. Without thought, I get out of bed, put sneakers on my bare feet, and race downstairs. I can hear movement, and don’t wait for anyone to find me as I put a random coat on from the closet by the front door.

When I open the door, the frigid night air hits me like a brick, making me cough. I bolt out of the door, into the woods bordering the lake. The inside of the new sneakers pinch my feet, but the pain only serves as a way to keep me alert, to keep me grounded.

I can’t stay there. I can’t leave. I can’t take this.

“Wisteria Jean!” Cain yells. My heartbeat is so loud, I can barely tell how far away he is.

“You’re going to hurt yourself, come back!” Colin shouts.

My feet carry me further away, through the trees, right up to the lake. I’m skirting the shoreline, trying to orient myself because I haven’t been home in six years. It’s dark. I forget how to get to the far gate so I can leave.

Home? Is this my home?

I slam into something granite-hard. Arms wrap around me, trapping me against a hard, muscled chest. His woodsy, eucalyptus scent fills my nostrils. My body knows before my brain can connect the dots. Jude isn’t wearing a coat, but his rage seems to be enough to keep him warm.

“I got her! We’re near the lake!” His deep voice echoes through the trees, and for a second, pure, gut wrenching fear makes my spine shiver.

Jude wears all black and his hood is pulled up, so I barely see his face in the moonlight. He resembles the thing in my nightmare… Was it an omen? Is Jude really a monster, destined to catch me no matter where I run? He grips my messy bun, yanking it back so I’m forced to look at him.

“Do you have any idea how much danger you put yourself into, running into the woods in the middle of the night?” he growls. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I…I…” I try to sound out the words through a sudden burst of sobbing and a tight throat. “I woke up f-f-from a nightmare. About you.”

“What?” he snaps. I pull at my bracelet, tinkering with the charms while trying to put my thoughts into some semblance of words.

“I can’t do this. I can’t marry you. I don’t belong here,” I blurt.

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