Page 35 of Bad for Me

Yeah, fucked up, I know. Sue me. Kinks and fantasies aren’t real.

Real was the cozy A-frame nestled on the shore of a lake, with no one else for miles and miles—no one to bother me if I got loud on camera and drank a couple of bottles of wine to get me through spring break alone.

Gravel crunched as I pulled in front of the cabin. I didn’t have long before night fell, and I needed to make sure I was ready to ride out a couple of days here on my own, even if the power cut out.

The starkness of the treetops combined with the wind in the air chilled my bones as I emptied my groceries out of the car. It didn’t take me long to stockpile water, stack wood by the fireplace, and prep the house for the storm. In less than an hour, I had dinner simmering on the stove.

Three heavily poured glasses of wine later, I was tipsy, exhausted, and fighting lonely tears. I didn’t want to curl up in cold sheets by myself.

Fuck it. I do what I want.

I dragged a pile of blankets in front of the fire and let sleep overtake me, promising myself I’d feel better in the morning.

* * *

By the timeI dragged myself awake the next morning, the sun was high in the sky, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Fucking weatherman.

It was a perfect day for pampering followed by an hour online with my fans—lonely, horny dudes who were also alone and hopefully so desperate they’d spend enough cash on a cute alt-girl fucking herself with a dildo that I could fix the heat in my car after I paid my rent. And maybe have enough left over for another tattoo. Maybe.

Sure, there were plenty of cam girls out there who made bank every time they got online. I’d only been doing it for a few months, and while it paid better than cocktail waitressing, I still felt like a prostitute every time I signed on.

Still, better than being homeless, which is what I thought was going to happen a few weeks ago when the cops raided the seedy strip club I worked at and shut it down.

Sighing to myself at the idiocy of sleeping on blankets on the ground when I could have spent the night on an obscenely expensive mattress, I stretched, working out the kinks in my muscles, then dragged myself to sitting. After all, I had a busy day of doing absolutely fucking nothing to fill.

I chose the plainest bedroom to set up my camera. Lucky for me, this was rich people space—bland interiors decorated by professionals, rather than homey spaces filled with photos and mementos. Working quickly, I set up the equipment I’d borrowed from the friend who’d turned me on to being a cam girl. One by one, I set out my props, all requested by my viewers during previous sessions.

Would I rather be anywhere else than performing sexually for a bunch of internet strangers?

Of course.

But I needed to pay my rent and fix my car.

Once I’d finished setting up the room, I padded back to the open living area to make myself lunch. I eyed the dying embers of the fireplace, before deciding I did not give a fuck how expensive my stepfather’s heating bill was. Soon, the entire cabin was warm and cozy enough that I could dance around in my underwear if I wanted to.

Taking in the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the lake, I demurred, instead opting for a bath where I could exfoliate from head to toe before touching up all the bits that my audience expected me to bare to them.

I painted my nails, blew out my hair, did my make-up, and by the time the sun began to set, I was ready to put on my mask and sign in.

3

“Hey, friends,”I said, licking my lips as I stared straight into the camera.

I knelt in the middle of the bed, wearing an oversized off the shoulder sweatshirt that showed off my red bra strap on one side, lacy red boy shorts, and nothing else. The sweatshirt was long enough to hide my center, but I’d lose it soon enough.

Greetings started pouring in from my fans.

Even after only a few months and my irregular shows, I had regulars. They didn’t care that I never showed my face, just that my tits were pert, my hair was pink, and my ass was cute. And that I was willing to masturbate for the camera.

RockHard420:Hey, SexxxyCoed, lookin’ hot tonight.

ILikeWaynal:/tip $10

ILikeWaynal:What toys do you have for us today?

ILikeWaynalwas going to mess up my flow, but I had a policy of responding to tips, and I wasn’t going to mess that up just because I was cranky.

“I’ve got special treats for all of my favorite viewers,” I purred as I reached over to the side of the bed, where I’d covered the toys with a throw.

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