Page 315 of Bad for Me

His voice is so cruel. I hate the disdain he has. Why can’t I have a boyfriend? I sniffle, raising my head. “You mean, you haven’t killed him?”

He scoffs, taking an intentional step toward me. Then another, and another. He stops in front of me, and I tell myself to look straight ahead. I won’t look up, won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how he affects me.

After a few beats of that dreadful silence, he sits on the coffee table. He’s so close to me that our knees brush. I catch a hint of tobacco from a cigar he’d probably smoked before coming in here. He stares at me, and it takes everything in me not to squirm beneath his touch.

“I haven’t killed him,” he says.

I exhale, relief washing over me. Cain isn’t a bad person. He’s nice to me, and I enjoy having his company. I’m not sure if I could live with the guilt of knowing he was dead because of me. Having Dario’s death on me was hard enough.

“Yet,” Alessio tacks on.

I clutch my throat, bile threatening to escape. My chest rises and falls, but taking in oxygen is nearly impossible at this moment.

“I hate you,” I say through my teeth.

6

ALESSIO

“I hate you.”

Her words sting, but I force away the sadness that clings to me like a second skin. She doesn’t mean it. She’s upset that I’ve taken her from her new life and have her hidden in this cabin.

Still, the sentence rattles me.

“You don’t get to do this, Alessio,” she continues when I remain silent.

“I made a promise to your father that I would keep you safe.”

She lets out a disbelieving laugh, her entire body shaking. “You drugged me and took me from my life! You’re the only threat.”

I sigh, pinch the bridge of my nose, and focus on evening out my breathing. I have to remain calm. I’m not here to try and scare her, and if I don’t control all these emotions bubbling up to the surface, I know that I’ll push her away.

“You were mingling with Made Men in a strange city with a fake name. It was only a matter of time before the pieces were put together and you were found, Hadley. You couldn’t have wound up in a small town in the Midwest? You went for a major city with high crime.”

She winces, maybe understanding the severity of her situation finally. “I was trying to get away from you! I figured you wouldn’t look for me there.”

“Why!” I shout.

She stares up at me with wild eyes, fear plastered on her face. I raise a hand toward her.

“I’m sorry,” I say more calmly. “I shouldn’t have shouted. Why were you trying to get away from me?”

“You killed Dario,” she says, tears streaming down her face. “I was scared of you. I still am.”

“I shouldn’t have hid that from you. I’m sorry. But,cara mia, I promise you it was for good reason.”

“What reason is good enough for murder?”

I lean forward, swiping away her tears with my thumbs. Seeing her in pain, seeing her tears, and knowing she fears me makes my heart crack and not in a good way. I never intended to tell her about Dario. She didn’t need to know how much he’d embarrassed her and hurt her but now I think it's the only way to make her see that everything I’ve done has been for her.

“He hurt you, Hadley. He wasn’t good enough for you.”

She sniffles and tilts her chin so she’s staring above me. “That was my decision to make.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s my job to make sure you don’t have to.”

“Your job?” She swats my hand from her face stands and starts to pace across the room. “Fuck that, Alessio. Where were you when I was alone? When Ozzy shunned me? He didn’t want me in the house but I had nowhere to go. You were never there. You treated me like I was a burden. I had no one. Because you killed the only person I did have. And here I was, moving on, away from you. I finally found someone to have. And you stole me from him.”

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