Page 48 of A Christmas Bargain

I wasn’t feeling remorse or regret because I’d brought a woman into the bed that I thought I’d only ever share with Jenna. Nor was I cringing because it was so clearly a mistake to mix sex into the already gray and unconventional deal we’d struck.

But because I wanted more.

Again.

Just physical, right?

Just pretend, isn’t it?

I was tricking her to even be near me with how loosely I’d deliberately worded my side of our deal. I said I’d sell some land with the intention of giving up maybe half an inch of it. She had only agreed to be in my company to get closer to reaching that goal.

In the morning, that guilt stuck with me. If anything, it had intensified as we slept together in each other’s arms, cozy and snuggled under the covers like this.

I’ve got no right to string her along. For anything.

“Morning,” she said, stretching as she woke up next to me.

“Morning,” I replied as I looked at her. “Sleep well?”

“Very well,” she said with a soft smile.

I wanted to capture this moment in my mind forever. She looked so peaceful and content, safe and sound and so warm pressed up against me. It wasn’t just a physical pull I felt toward her but also a deeper one that hinted more at an emotional bond.

“Can I interest you in some breakfast?” I offered. Feeding her seemed like a natural thing to do first thing in the morning. I was hoping some caffeine would kickstart my brain into working so I could rehearse how to come clean. I had to tell her that I wasn’t exactly sincere in offering her land.

“Is there time for breakfast?” She furrowed her brow and sat up a little, holding the sheets to her naked body.

“Time?” I asked. “Are you still worried about keeping a pace?”

She laughed, smiling wider. “No. I mean with Naomi. Don’t you have to go pick her up and whatnot?” She brushed her long, brown hair back, clearing skin for me to stare at. I fondlyrecalled how sweet she’d tasted, and I wondered if I’d ever get the chance to taste her again.

We’d crossed so many lines. We’d disregarded that we were supposed to be pretending. And those grievances didn’t leave much guidance to follow. What should come next? How did we move forward?

“I can’t imagine her finding us here would make a lot of sense if you haven’t had women over lately.”

“More like never,” I said as I sat up with her. “I’ve never had a woman over.”

“Wow.” She gawked at me. “That’s, uh, quite an honor, then.”

“She’s not going to be ready to come home.” I glanced at my watch. “With how late Nicky and Stacy probably let her stay up, she’s bound to still be asleep.”

“So…” She lowered her gaze. “We can still…?”

I appreciated that she didn’t define what we were doing. She couldn’t say we were pretending anything anymore. And I wasn’t ready to say we were committed. This was new territory for me, and I’d let it be undefined for as long as I needed it to be.

“Yeah.” I leaned in to kiss her. “Want some breakfast?”

We got out of bed, and like a couple, we made breakfast together. Just like all the other times we’d been in each other’s company, no awkward pauses popped up. We joked and laughed, and ate and shared a pot of coffee. The more that we got along and passed the morning over pancakes and eggs, the less I worried about what we were doing. We justwere. Together and enjoying ourselves.

As soon as we were finished eating, she begged for a tour. She really was a realtor at heart. And I gave her one, walking her through the Scott family house that I’d inherited and added on to when it needed to be modernized.

“Stacy wasn’t interested in it after your parents passed away?” she asked.

“No. She wanted to make her ‘own’ home. Plus, Nicky’s house is huge. He’s got his carpentry shop there, too, so it was a simple decision for them to live there. It’s not far from here.”

We’d made our way back to my bedroom, where we got dressed after the tour of the house. She was borrowing some clothes that Stacy bought and accidentally had delivered here because that store never updated their website and still had this one for her. They were a little baggy on Claire, but they suited her.

“Not far?” Claire asked. “Like down the long, winding road I noticed last night?”

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