Page 59 of A Christmas Bargain

I laughed, leaning into his hard, hot body. These lazy mornings were like a daily mini vacation with him.

“And it just so happened that there were four of those beagle mutt puppies.”

“It’d be a Christmas miracle to keep them together with their brothers and sisters.” I turned to kiss him.

“Yeah, if you’re starting a hunting club. Can you imagine the howling?”

We laughed, shelving the matter to get ready and meet his sister and brother-in-law at the farm to cut trees. Stacy had yet to warm up to me, but that was all right. I read between the lines and knew she was just being protective, wanting the best for her brother and niece. Nicky was sweet, too, a fun and goofy uncle who helped to mediate when Stacy and Derek argued. As they were wont to do, especially in the form of bickering about which tree would be best for whose house.

Inserted into this family tradition, I worried that the lines were getting that much more blurred. I didn’t feel like I was faking a single thing. Derek wasn’t either—holding my hand like it was magnetized to find mine, pecking kisses on my cheek, and letting Naomi ride on my back as we trudged through the snow.

This seemed like a test, this family day, but the moment I gave up trying to label what I was doing here and why, I felt like I fit. I simplified it with one simple goal—to have fun. And that was all it took for me to realize I already was. Without effort.

When Naomi wanted to go to the ice sculptures that the farm had delivered to make their place more of a touristy stop, Stacy volunteered to pick up the hot cocoas and coffees from the food mart.

I stayed with Derek as we waited for the trees to be bound to take home.

“When do you put your tree up?” he asked, since Stacy and Derek explained that they kept this tradition of putting their tree up mere days before Christmas because of a story about their grandpa’s mishaps with a tree. According to their family lore, Grandpa Scott brought home a Christmas tree Thanksgiving weekend only to realize it had ants in it. Then the replacement to that had a bird nest in it. And the tree after that was so big that it wouldn’t fit in the house. One incident after another kept them from having a tree inside to decorate on time, all the way until the week before Christmas. Derek and Stacy’s dad had the same “bad” luck, and they joked that they should keep the tradition of having the tree later rather than earlier.

“I didn’t.” I hated how cold that sounded. “I mean, in my apartment in Denver, I didn’t.”

“No space?” he guessed.

“No time.”

He nodded. “I remember those days.” He glanced at me. “Before Jenna.”

I didn’t like how heartless it made me sound. “But Dad and Grace and I always got one. There was never a set date to get it. We just figured, okay, today’s the day, and we’d get it. Then we’d bicker over who would get to put which ornament up.”

“Stacy and I did that too.”

“That’s the sibling life for ya.”

“I think Naomi would be a dictator about it too, if she had a sibling.” He laughed once as the trees were lugged away for pickup at the lot.

“Oh, of course,” I agreed, feeling right about claiming to know the little girl that well. He walked up and hugged me, sharing his warmth.

“She’d have a map. A diagram, depending on ornament weight and density.”

“Not to mention the color schemes and the symmetry of the shapes…”

We shared a laugh, but it led into kissing.

“Has she ever mentioned whether she wanted a sibling?” I asked.

“Only a puppy,” he replied, walking me further out of the way as other people passed in the lane between trees. I tripped on a clump of snow, and we fell together, cushioned on the snow bank.

“And a mommy,” he admitted.

I sobered at that heartfelt admission. Framing his face, I sighed and stared into his eyes. “That’s… rough.”

“It is what it is.” He kissed me, seeming determined not to let that sad comment linger. “One day… maybe I’ll be ready. When the time is right.”

I smiled as he kissed along my neck, showing no interest in getting up and out of the snow. Wrapping my arms around him, I kissed him back and let the present rule us, not the sad past.

“With the right woman,” he added, slipping his hand under my coat and teasing at the hem of my sweater.

Like… me?

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