Page 11 of A Christmas Bargain

I grunted. “I have. I’ve given up.”

“You haven’t even tried!” she protested.

“Stacy.” Nicky took a more serious, firmer tone with her. “Stop. Let him be.”

“No.” She furrowed her brow at me. “When I asked you two years ago if you were still grieving Jenna and that was why you wouldn’t date anyone, you told me that you weren’t.”

I nodded. She wasn’t lying. She’d asked, and I’d answered. I was no expert on grief, but I was confident I’d gone through it all. Every stage of it. Jenna had been gone for almost seven years now. Naomi’s birthday was coming up the first week of January, and that was reminiscent of when Jenna passed away from complications during Naomi’s birth.

I missed Jenna. I always would to some degree, but it no longer ruled me.

Grief had nothing to do with the fact that I didn’t want to go through the process of dating, all to realize none of them would make me feel the way I did with her.

If the concept ofone true loveheld any substance, well, she was mine. And she was gone.

“Then why won’t you even consider going on a date?” Stacy asked. “Why won’t you even try to talk to a woman?”

An older woman used her walker to slowly pass us by where we were standing and waiting for Naomi.

“Morning, Mrs. Fern.” I smiled at her. “Isn’t this market just wonderful?”

She smiled a gummy grin at me. “Oh, it sure is, Derek. It’s so nice to see everyone out and about before the snow gets bad.”

Switching off the charm, I gave my sister a bored look. “There. I talked to a woman.”

She elbowed me and growled. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

Nicky laughed. “Stop nagging him, babe.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I won’t give up on you. I refuse to watch you be a lonely old grump for the rest of your life.”

“Aunt Stacy? Are you going to make anything?” Naomi called out.

“Yes, sweetie. I’m coming.” She shot me another stern look, then headed toward the tent.

“We’re going to walk around,” Nicky told her as he nudged my side to move.

We moved into the busy flow of people weaving in and out of stalls, and I sighed heavily, watching my exhale hang in the air.

“I’m sorry, man,” Nicky said.

“It’s not your fault.”

He shrugged. “Sometimes, I feel like it is.”

I barked a laugh, shaking my head. “How the hell would my not dating beyourfault?”

“Well, she’s always wanted a big family.”

I cringed.Ouch. I see where you’re going.I’d considered this before, but it didn’t make me any more inclined to look for a woman.

“Between both of us, we can’t have a kid,” he said.

I didn’t need the reminder. He was damn near sterile, and she struggled to conceive. Even if they wanted to try to do further IVF treatments, the odds were damned low. Then when they tried not once, but three times to adopt, the birth mothers all changed their minds and those arrangements fell through.

“And I think she’s hoping she’ll get some more nieces and nephews from you.”

“First of all, it’s notyourfault you can’t have kids. That’s just biology. And you both have struggles. So none of thismy faultstuff.”

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