Page 113 of From You to Me

“You liar.” I felt his hand swat my thigh.

My eyes darted open. “Gabe, I think Katy needs you.”

Katy was currently in an old sweat set, her hair gathered in a messy bun, her face free of any makeup, and a pencil held between her teeth as she peered at a paper in front of her.

In all my years, I’d never seen her like that. God, she must be truly affected by all this.

It was quite bizarre and unexpected.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “I don’t think she needs me. Look at her, she’s busy working out the seating arrangement. But you.” He pointed his finger at me. “Don’t try to change the subject. Tell me, don’t you want him back in your life?”

I heaved the air stuck in my lungs. “I do want him,” I admitted truthfully. “But I’m scared. My mind’s a complete mess. This constant push-and-pull game that Jay and I have been playing these past few months has worn me out. I don’t even know what I want anymore.”

Katy lifted her eyes from the chart. “It’s understandable. You take your time and decide what’s best for you, Evy. It’s not both your fault and time creates distance, especially when being in love as a teenager is different from when you are an adult. Sometimes love alone is not enough.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I don’t even know what he wants anymore.”

Gabe frowned. “What do you mean? Of course, he wants you back because he loves you. Also maybe to fuck your brains out.” He raised his brow, clicking his tongue.

“I don’t think he loves me. He hated me less than a month ago but fell out of love for me years ago. Just because he knows the whole truth now doesn’t mean he snaps back in love with me.”

“Yeah, I know, but who knows, maybe he never fell out of love for you. He just thinks he did. Things will be different this time, you can’t keep thinking about these past few months. If you’re going to start something, it will be built on trust and mutual respect, not on fears and doubts.”

I curled up on my side, leaning my head against my fist. “But he didn’t believe me and took her side.” I knew I was petty because he didn’t know anything, but it twisted the serrated dagger deep in my heart.

“Emmie did that to protect you, Evy.” Softness shined from Katy’s eyes.

Lines took over my forehead. “I don’t understand.”

“He went to her to make sure she doesn’t press charges, and she won’t speak to the media about this. Also, because he was furious at her, not you. He didn’t want you there with her, so he asked Mikey to take you away.”

“Oh,” I simply said. I hadn’t even thought about that. Knowing that bitch, she would’ve made a media debacle out of it, and I would’ve ended up in a jail cell for destroying her face. I was sure she has something up her sleeve and was waiting for the right time. Though Jay was more powerful now, it scared me to think about what she would pull.

“See.” Gabe waved his hand around. “He still loves you or at least he likes you. To be honest, you’ve been smiling a lot ever since he came back into your life. And you haven’t smiled like that in the years that I’ve known you, Evy. He makes you sad, but he also makes you the happiest, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.”

Maybe Gabe was right. I knew he was. But if I get my heart broken again, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to be me again. I was a distant version of the person I once was; all this loss and pain had ruined me. And if it happened again, I would go back to being that lost girl six years ago; only this time, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to bounce back again.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, pulling out my laptop. I was done talking about him today. I had work to do, and I was excited about that despite my bad mood. I loved writing for the blog and had weekly submissions, which kept my mind occupied from running a few thousand miles per hour.

Gabe heaved out a heavy sigh but turned his attention back to Katy, and soon, they started to discuss the event.

It was well over an hour of us working when Lily finally yawned back to life, stretching out her body.

“What time is it?” she muttered in her groggy sleepy voice.

“A bit after eight,” I answered, glancing at the bottom of my laptop screen.

Lily cursed as she jumped to her feet and immediately groaned from the sudden change of gravity. It took her a minute to find her equilibrium. “I have sketches to finish by tomorrow morning.” She rushed off to her bag that she dropped by the door and dug around for her graphic pad, mumbling to herself as she slid in beside me.

She gave Strawberry a pat who followed her on her little journey to the door like she needed protection or something. That girl was getting too spoiled by everyone lately. But damn, we all loved her. She was adorable, and now it was my turn.

I closed my ancient laptop, putting it off to the side while I tapped my thigh. And Strawberry doesn’t have to be told twice as she jumped up on me. She licked my face while I cooed and rubbed her behind her ears.

I hugged her close to me while she settled on my lap, sighing happily.

“I’m done.” Katy rolled out her hands above her head. “Let’s finish the rest tomorrow. How about food now? Lots of food?”

Gabe agreed as he plopped back on the floor. “Yeah, the hors d’ouveres can wait. I want food, real food. The greasier, the better.”