Page 134 of From Me to You

I used to think that mine was one of the greatest love stories that fate had destined for me. I knew that regardless of the stones that people threw at us, we would always be together. Oh, but how wrong was I?

The shrill sound of the alarm woke me up from my thoughts. Never my sleep though, because that hardly came in these days. I groaned as I got out of bed—my knee was acting up again. I needed to ice it.

The clock read 6:03 a.m. I had two hours before I started work. But I needed to move ASAP because, with my bum leg, there was only so much I could do.

At least I had stopped procrastinating in the mornings like I did when I was a teenager. How long ago was that? I felt like adulthood got beat into me so early that I had no transition period from being a stupid teenager to a mature adult.

I made my bed, I still had my bed pushed toward the corner because I loved how cozy it felt. Most of all, it made me feel safe and protected, which I didn’t feel much in my life anymore. I neatly spread my pink bunny covers over the bed—yes, I still had them. It probably was way out of its shelf life, but I didn’t care. I had washed it so many times that the pink had faded, and the material was so worn out that it had some holes. But it was still the softest thing I have ever felt. I couldn’t part with it. Jay and I used to sleep in it all the time.

I sighed as I made my way to the small living room and kitchen. I was pretty lucky to land this apartment. It was in a run-down building, but it was decent and clean. Which was hard to come by in New York City when you were on a budget.

Yes, I moved to NYC. I was an East Coast girl now—I just packed all my bags and moved as far away from the West Coast as I possibly could.

I loved this apartment, though—the walls were the classic torn-down red brick walls. The living room was basically a small rectangle with a TV on the front end and a small leather couch in front of it. On the left end was the kitchen with a breakfast table that had two chairs.

I did my best to decorate this place with what I had, which wasn’t a lot. The only thing I splurged on these days was food and maybe books. And I had a lot of them staked up all over the living room and my bedroom.

A warm tongue licked my feet. My eyes softened as I looked at the tiny ball of fur running circles around my feet. I bent down to pick up my new best friend. And she greeted me with licks all over my face.

I laughed. “Okay, okay. Calm down. Mommy will get you food.” I cuddled her up in my arms and she sighed happily, burying herself in my boobs. She was so tiny—only around five weeks old.

With the money I made, it was hard even to get food on my plate, let alone another. But when she peered at me with those warm brown eyes, I just couldn’t say no. Her eyes reminded me of Aunty M. I tried not to let the sadness overwhelm me as I thought of her. I wasn’t fine, and I never would be fine. But each day I was trying to breathe a bit better.

I set her bowl on the floor and carefully placed her down. She gave me the most adorable bark before she started to scarf down her meal.

I patted her head. “Good, girl. My strawberry is such a good girl,” I cooed.

I couldn’t help but name her Strawberry—she was a strawberry-blonde golden retriever. One of my neighbors was moving, and their dog had just given birth. So, they asked me if I wanted her, and the rest was history. I might have also selfishly named her Strawberry because somebody I loved with every fiber of my being loved strawberry milk. I wondered if he still drank it.

I turned around to make myself a cup of much-needed coffee. I survived because of it.

Strawberry was already done with her meal and went by to lie on her little dog bed. She was such a good dog. She hardly caused me any trouble at all. I loved her. After a long time, I loved someone.

I took my steaming pink mug of coffee to my couch and scrolled through the news about Jay, my favorite morning routine. I was still obsessed with him. I was glad that his life was all over the media, so I could watch him every day. I sighed as I sipped my coffee. There wasn’t any latest news about him—just their fifth studio album had a high Metacritic score and was topping all the charts. It also said the band was excited to start the European leg of their tour soon.

The Four Foxes have become so famous these past few years that all their albums have sold millions of copies worldwide, and they even had a few Grammys under their belt. They made it. They were rock stars now. I was so proud of him. I tried to push away the sadness of not being with him, but I would do it all over again for him.

I traced my finger over his face. He was standing with the rest of the band members, and Katy and White were with them. White had her arms linked through Jay’s and she was smiling at the camera, like she was some sort of angel. They never announced their relationship, as she told me according to her evil plan. There were some rumors about them throughout the years, but it didn’t seem like Jay was in a relationship with her. Because he was photographed with multiple women over the years. All were tall, with long legs and plastic smiles, all of whom I wanted to strangle with my bare hands. My man, I wanted to scream, but there wasn’t a single soul on this planet that would hear me.

Strawberry gave me a whine just then like she heard my thoughts.

“Yes, baby. You are the only one who hears me.” I cooed at her. She was so cute.

She wiggled her little tail and plopped her chin back down.

The time now read 6:45 a.m., shit. I had to go. I removed my T-shirt as I rushed into my bathroom. I carefully placed the shirt on my bed—not mine actually. It was Jay’s—one of the many ones that I stole from him. I wore it every day to sleep.

They say first love always faded away, and soon it would all get better. You would meet someone when you get older and fall in love with them. Sometimes I wished that it was possible for me to forget him. That I could meet someone new who could help me forget him. But no, it was not happening to me.

The moment I fell for him, I was a goner. My soul and heart belonged to Jay, and they always would.

He never called me after that day, the day I sent him a message to come help me. I was angry for a long time that he abandoned me like that. But how could I blame him when it was me who abandoned him first?

He must hate me so much that he didn’t even come to Aunty M’s funeral. My heart sank at that thought. I never wanted to relive that kind of pain ever in my life again. It took me years to get a fragment of normalcy back into my life.

It was almost 7:30 when I left my apartment. Good, I had plenty of time. Because my leg would only move so fast.

The busy Monday morning greeted me. I liked this city. It hadn’t been cruel to me so far. I liked watching people, and this city was the best place for it. I had, like, one friend and a dog, so people-watching and daydreaming kept me company.

---