Page 87 of Parker

“And hated him for most of it.”

“And love him madly now.”

My face jerks up to look at hers. “I never said that!”

“I know you, babycakes.”

“Harper, we’re justdating. We’re not…” Fear sluices through me, making me shiver. “I don’t know how to be a mom!”

“I didn’t either. No one does…until she becomes one.” Harper tilts her head to the side. “Tell me this for real. Do you love him or not?”

I stare at her, then back at the test, then back at her. “I’m getting there.”

This is a lie. I’m embarrassed to admit aloud that I already love Quinn. After years of his teasing, I feel like love shouldn’t have come so quickly. But it did. I love him. I’ve just been holding out on saying the words.

“You like being with him? Being his girlfriend?”

“I do. A lot.”

“And you want this baby?”

“Totally.”

She pulls me into her arms.

“I’m happy for you, Parker. I’m so excited for Wren to grow up with Tanner’s baby and your baby. Three cousins growing up together in Skagway! Oh my god! And one day Hunter and Sawyer will have kids. And Reeve, too! It’s so wonderful, I swear, I could cry.”

My eyes well with tears, too. So I close them, leaning my head against my big sister’s shoulder, feeling equal measures of wonder, gratitude, and apprehension.

***

Quinn

I’m worried.

Why? Because Parker’s been “off” since her gran’s party.

Despite her promise to “fuck my brains out” after the festivities, once we got to her bed, she asked if we could just spoon real tight and go sleep instead. Of course I said yes, because one, I love spooning with Parker, and two, I’m not a total asshole.

But it’s been four days now, and while we used to have sexat leasttwice a day, we’ve only had it once since the party, and Parker seemed…jumpy. Distracted. She definitely wasn’t relaxed, and she didn’t seem as excited as she’s been over the last few weeks.

She left my place this morning, headed home for the day to help her gran pack up the serving ware, plates, dishes, and glassware that were used at the party, which leaves me alone in my apartment, dark thoughts swirling.

Is she re-thinking us? Is she having doubts about being my girlfriend? Maybe she’s not sure she wants to be with me.

Fuck, but these thoughts hit me in the solar plexus like a Mack truck.

I can’t lose her.

Not now, when we’ve come so far.

Not now, when I know what it is to love her, to hold her, to make love to her, to wake up beside her.

Part of me—and it’s not a small part—would rather die than try to get over her.

How do you get over someone you’ve loved all your life?

I’m supposed to meet her at her place later, but as these terrifying, unwanted thoughts descend on me, I can’t wait until tonight. I get dressed, hop in my truck, and drive over to Dyea. We need to talk. I need to know what’s going on with her and where we stand.

---