Page 77 of Harper

“Move away from my kid?”

“No. Move away from his or her mother.”

“It’s a fourteen-hour drive to Wasilla.”

“A lot shorter by plane.”

“Sandra—”

“Just hear me out,” she says. “Okay?”

“Fine. Talk.”

“So, you apply for the job in Wasilla, and let’s say you get it. You move up there and start fresh, right? That’d be good for you.Every summer and Christmas break, you have your kid up there with you. Rest of the year, he or she is down here for school and such with Harper.”

I want to keep an open mind, but this scenario is so different from everything I’ve always dreamed of, it makes me feel hollow and alone. I never imagined myself as a single parent in a town fourteen hours away from Skagway. But for the first time in my entire life, I can’t see a future for me and Harper either. I’m in the weeds—the tall, deep, never-ending weeds. And I can’t see a way out.

“Food for thought, okay?”

“Yeah. Sure,” I say, though I’m not really considering it.

“You can ask for whatever you want right now. Remember that.”

This conversation is hurting, so I’m eager to wrap it up.

“I should go.”

“Yeah, okay,” she says. “When are you coming back?

“Tomorrow.”

“Huh.”

“You got something on your mind, Sandra?”

“I went to water your plants yesterday, and Harper was at your house.”

My stomach drops. “And?”

“And she wanted me to let you know that she has her first baby appointment the Tuesday after next. In Anchorage.”

“Why Anchorage? Why not at the clinic in Skagway?”

“I don’t know. I’m just telling you what she said, cuz. She has her first appointment with a perinatologist in Anchorage. At Providence Children’s Hospital. She said you were welcome to go…you know, to the appointment. If you want.”

My fucking heart swells with something I don’t want to feel, then instantly fists, and hardens.

“Thanks for telling me.”

“You gonna go?”

“I don’t know yet,” I say, even though I can’t think of a single fucking reason why I shouldn’t go.

“You gonna reach out to her?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” she says, backing off. “It’s a tough situation.”

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