Page 63 of Harper

“Coming right up.” I put some ice in a glass, then pour a bottle of water over it. “Lemon? Lime?”

“Sit down, Joe.”

She’s sitting on the couch, her back to me, her posture ramrod straight.

Please don’t tell me you don’t want it.

I don’t know what I’d do if she decided not to have it. I don’t know how I’d bear it.

Please, Harper. Please.

I hand her the water, then sit down in a chair, swiveling it away from the TV to face her.

“Talk to me,” I say.

She looks up at me, then back down at her water. After a small sip, she leans forward and places the glass on the coffee table. Folding her hands in her lap, she sighs before looking up at me again.

“I never…” She stops, clears her throat, then starts again. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I know.”

“You don’t know this, but I had to have an operation a long time ago, during those years I was away, and the doctor told me that I wouldn’t be able to have children. Not…not naturally. Only via IVF. So when you asked me if we were “covered,” I wasn’t lying when I said yes.”

“Harp,” I say, leaning forward in my chair and clasping my hands between my knees. “I’m not upset about this. Not at all. Not even a little.” I scan her face, desperate that she knowshow much this means to me, how excited I am to be a dad, to make the family I always wanted…with her. “I don’t care how it happened. I’m…just so happy it did.”

“You want it,” she says softly.

I drop to my knees, reaching for her hands, encouraged when she doesn’t pull away. “Of course I want it. I love it already—I love him or her. I love this baby. I love you, Harp. For me, this is a dream come true.”

She shakes her head. “There are things you don’t know.”

“So tell me,” I say. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it all out together. You’re not alone, Harp. I’m here—for you and our baby. I love you two more than anything else in the world. I want to make this work more than anything.”

“Oh, Joe,” she says, separating her hands from mine so she can reach up to cradle my face. Her tenderness surprises me because she’s been sparing with it up to now. Her eyes are filled with tears as she looks at me. “You love so hard, Joe. So completely. So deeply.” She pauses as a tear snakes down her cheek. “Is that how you hate, too?”

“I don’t hate anyone,” I say, turning my cheek so I can kiss the inside of her palm. “And definitely not you.”

“You will,” she whispers, pulling her hands away.

Back to this shit again. I swear to God, I’m getting sick of it.

“If you’d just tell me what you think you did, I could reassure you that—”

“I need some time,” she says. “Can you give me that?”

“Yeah.” I lean back, sitting on my haunches. “But you’re not going to, you know, make any decisions without me, right?”

“No,” she says. “I won’t do that. I’ll let you know what I plan to do.”

“Harp,” I say, wondering if this will be my only chance to make a case for keeping this baby and building a life together. “I love you. I want this baby. I want you in my life. We don’t haveto move in together. We don’t have to get married. We can do things any way you feel comfortable doing them, okay? But you two are the most important people—I mean—”

“I know, Joe,” she says, standing up. “That means a lot.”

I scramble to my feet as she steps toward the door.

“Anything you need, Harp, just ask.”

“I will,” she says, that sad, sad smile lifting her lips in a look so heartbreaking, it makes me want to race to her and pull her into my arms.

---