Page 26 of Harper

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Relief instantly relaxes his features. “Oh, baby, never. That’ll never happen. You’re my girl, Harper Stewart. I love you. Only you. Forever.”

There’s no such thing as forever.

“Yes, but it might be good for us to be free, you know? To be free to do what we want, to have the full college experience. You think you don’t want that, but maybe you’ll get there and find out that you do.” I pull my hands away from his. “Will you at least think about it?”

“About breaking up with you?” he asks, his face hardening. “No. I won’t.”

The hurt in his eyes is almost more than I can bear. Why didn’t I wait to talk about this with him another time? Shit, Harper.

“Joe,” I say gently, “love doesn’t die just because we break up for a few months. If we still feel the same about each other when we get home, we can get back together over Christmas break or next summer. If we love each other enough,it’s inevitable that we’ll end up together—a few months of independence won’t change that.”

“And in the meantime, you’ll be free to do that with other guys?”

Honestly, the idea of having sex with other people hadn’t even occurred to me.

“What? No! I mean, I doubt it. I can’t imagine wanting to make love to anyone but you.”

“Then don’t break us up!” he pleads, tears making his eyes bright.

I’ve never seen Joe cry. The fact that I’m the cause of the first time guts me. But he’s being intractable. He won’t even talk about it.

“Joe—”

“No, Harper. No,” he says, reaching for his pants, then standing up to pull them on. He grabs the fancy button-down shirt he wore for graduation and balls it up in his hands. His face is red and furious. A tear runs down his cheek, and he swipes it away angrily. “You know what? You’re a fucking coward. You’re fucking scared of everything, and usually, I’m okay with it. I get it. I understand. Your mom died when you were young, and it fucked you up. It’s hard for you to trust that people who love you—that the people you love—won’t leave you. But us? You and me? This is the best thing. This is…is…everything, Harper. Don’t you see? We’re…” He shakes his head as another tear snakes down his cheek. He leans down and grabs his shoes. “If you don’t see that already, I can’t make you see it. Fuck this. I’m going home. Thanks for wrecking one of the most important days of my life, Harp.”

“Joe!” I cry, scrambling up from the sand. “Please wait! Don’t go! I just wanted to talk.”

“I’m not talking about us breaking up,” he says. “I won’t do it.”

“I love you,” I tell him, my voice breaking.

“Sure about that?” he barks at me.

Yes! I’m sure! I think, but my mouth isn’t working. I’m frozen. I’m terrified that I’ve just lost the best thing in my life…but I’m also frustrated with him. With us. With everything.

We stare at each other for a long, torturous moment, then he turns and leaves, splashing through the shallow water between the spit and the land before disappearing into the woods.

And me? I’m left alone.

Just like you wanted, right, Harper? Feel safer now?

I wrap my arms around my body, hugging myself tightly, and weep.

Chapter 3

Harper

I wake up with a beam of sunlight streaming across my face…and immediately I know I’m not at home. My bed never gets direct sunlight in the morning because it’s further from the window than Parker’s.

Where the heck am I?

Cracking open one eyelid makes me groan in pain, so I close it quickly against the pounding in my head.

Oof. I’m hungover. Bad.

I take a deep breath and open my eye again, taking a moment to let my headache equalize before focusing on the pillowcase under my cheek. I squint to make out a pattern of white dots on a navy-blue background.

I don’t have white dotted sheets with a navy-blue background.

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