Page 79 of Nothing to Do

“We don’t doubt our love for each other, that would be insane after all we’ve been through, that’s not what I mean.”

“So what do you mean?”

Roxie thought about it for a second before talking. “Even if I give him my all, even if every person on this whole planet was to give him their all, it wouldn’t be enough. I love him sodamn much that he’s in my DNA, he’s all of me, every part of me, and fuck it hurts to love him with every atom. He deserves the universe.”

Her friend wasn’t sad or scared or angry, Roxie just couldn’t hold it all in.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” she said, subduing a smile. “But he feels the same way about you.”

“I know.” Roxie rolled her eyes and came over to pick up the eyeliner again. “The idiot. Close your eyes.” She sat down and did as ask, allowing Roxie to do her makeup. “We just had an anniversary, maybe it’s making me sentimental. I just want to tell the people I can tell that he’s secretly divine.”

“Noted,” she said, touched by the woman’s need to praise her man.

“You snuck Dyce away quick last night. Horny?”

The tease curved her lips for a flash. “We do have a lot of sex.”

“Preach it, sister. These men are overachievers in all kinds of imaginative ways. Sometimes you have to release the parking brake and just let them at it.”

She laughed. “I hear that.” An exhale came while watching Roxie pick out some shadow. “Last night was… I just couldn’t see him like that anymore. He wants to help, he wants to fix things—”

“Another thing our men have in common. All of them are fixers. Even when we want to vent and—you know what, I’ll let Jane have that discussion with you.”

She closed her eyes and Roxie continued with the makeup. “Zane’s tired. The island is supposed to be his sanctuary, a safe space away from the real world. You know, he doesn’t really like Roman that much.”

“No one likes Roman that much. No one who actually knows him.”

And in talking it out, she garnered new understanding of Roxie’s meaning about Zairn. “Like you said, Zane deserves the universe. I want to support him, to hold up, and care for him the way that he cares for me. Roman’s a burden for him, he’d never say it, but that’s what he is. I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t want him worrying about me, I want to take care of him.”

“Sometimes we’re the only ones they’ll listen to.”

“Zane and I haven’t been together that long, but I’m not sure anyone else could’ve stolen him away like I did last night.”

“We have to be the ones who say no. Set those boundaries for them when they can’t set them themselves. Z’s big on boundaries.”

“I noticed Zane was frayed and didn’t want him to feel that way. It’s not fair all this, he’s neglecting his own needs.”

“We have to be more subtle in our care sometimes, you did good.”

“But it’s only temporary, sex is only a temporary distraction.” Which Roman liked to shatter as often as possible. “Is it just me or does it feel like a no-win situation?”

“With Roman? More like a no-hope situation. I’m all for people kicking their habits and starting anew. Addiction is a disease, yes, and people need support, they deserve respect and understanding…”

“Yeah, but with Roman…”

“I get the feeling he’s just an ass. No amount of rehab will cure that.”

“Was he drunk yesterday?”

“I don’t know,” Roxie said, blowing away excess powder. “I try not to get that close to him.”

“If he thinks pills are the only problem… Do you know any doctors? Anyone who could give sound, educated advice on this?”

“I know someone who knows a lot of doctors,” Roxie said. “Do you want to go above and beyond for Roman?”

Her eyes opened to Roxie’s. A beat passed. Roman didn’t deserve their mercy, he didn’t deserve them using their connections and resources to protect and help him. If he wanted to embrace those things and change for real, great, maybe it would be a different issue. But he didn’t; he wanted to drag everyone else down to his level.

“I feel sorry for Struan,” she admitted. “He drove me to the house from the resort last night.”

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