Page 54 of A Rogue Cowboy's Kiss

“I do. It hasn’t been safe for me to go to the doctor for a long time.” Falcon swore under his breath, and punched his fist lightly against the dashboard as the reality of the situation sank in. “It’s me, then. I endangered you. I’d endanger any kids.”

The realization hit like a spike in his chest. No kids. No wife. No family. He would never risk anyone just because he wanted the life he’d never had. “I’ll walk away when this is over. I’ll stay away from you. From the ranch. I’ll disappear and no one will be able to link us again?—”

She put her finger on his lips. “Shut up.”

He moved her hand, wrapping his fingers around hers. “Bella,” he said gently. “This possibility was why I stayed away for so long. I thought it was over.” He kissed her knuckles. “I’m sorry, Bella. With all of my heart. I’m so fucking sorry for endangering you by coming for you.”

She ignored his apology. “Tell me about this quest that you’ve been tangled up in for so long.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter?—”

“Falcon. You made love to me a whole bunch of times. You told me you loved me. You don’t get to pretend that didn’t happen, and since it’s me, you don’t get to be a jerk and walk away. You lost the right to lock me out. So talk to me.” Her voice was gentle, but urgent, and the look on her face made his heart turn over.

She wanted to know. She wanted him to let her in.

He still had to leave. He knew he did.

But sitting there in that truck with her, blood soaking through his shirt, knowing how close he’d come to losing her if he’d been sleeping when that guy had showed up, knowing that he could never have the family with her that he’d dreamed of for so long…suddenly, he needed this moment as much as she did.

He needed to be seen by the woman he loved before he disappeared forever.

He took a breath and steeled himself. “When I was growing up, it was just my mom and me. When she wasn’t using, she was a good mom. She gave me everything she had.”

Bella’s mouth opened, and then she closed it and nodded. “What was her name?”

“Jenny.” He didn’t give the last name. He never did.

“Jenny,” Bella repeated. “I’m glad you had her for a while.”

Of course it had been only a while. If he’d still had her, he never would have wound up on the streets under a bridge with the Harts. “She got clean when I was six. Got me back from foster and worked hard to stay clean. Drug addiction is brutal, Bella. Every day was a fight for her, but she was stronger than it.” He paused. “For me. She told me every day that I was her light, her reason for staying clean. I tried to be the best kid I could to make her want to stay clean even more. I lived for making her happy.”

Bella’s face softened. “That’s a heavy burden for a kid.”

He shrugged. “It didn’t feel heavy. It gave me a purpose. We lived in a shitty area and it kept me clean and out of trouble, unlike most kids.”

She smiled. “Always a huge heart, even back then.”

“Desperate to never go back to foster care, yeah.” He paused, taking a breath before he continued. “When I was ten, a man showed up at our door. From her past.” He closed his eyes, trying to shield himself from the anger that still rose, from the terror he’d felt back then.

Then he felt Bella take his hand, her grip grounding him. He looked down at their entangled hands, and closed his hand around hers. “He was an absolute shit. All the worst things you can imagine? He did it.”

Bella rubbed his hand. “Tell me.”

He took a breath. “One day I came home from school, and my mom was strung out. He’d gotten her back on drugs.” He’d been so mad that day. So fucking furious. “She’d been clean for four years. Do you know how hard that was? And he fucking tore it all down.”

Bella nodded. “My mom was a drug addict too. Her boyfriend was why I ran away.”

His gaze shot to hers, and suddenly, he was tired of feeling like shit because of a bastard when he was a little kid. They’d all been through things. Why was he hanging onto it like he was the only one? “I went after him. He knocked me around, and then my mom attacked him to save me. He killed her in front of me, and left me to die.”

Bella’s hand went to her mouth. “Oh, God. Falcon.”

“I held my mom in my arms and I promised her I would live, and I would avenge her death. I told her I’d stay clean, I’d never get addicted to anything, I’d be the man she wanted me to become, and I would make sure that he never hurt anyone ever again.”

Understanding filled Bella’s face, a compassionate, true understanding that answered a need that he hadn’t realized he’d had until now. “That’s who you’ve been hunting for twenty years?” she asked, without any judgment.

He nodded. “It was a game to him. He thought it was funny. When I was a teenager, he would catch me and beat me up. Then I learned to hide when I was hunting him. And he got better at hiding. Until someone else got to him and ended it.”

“Who was he?”

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