Page 35 of A Rogue Cowboy's Kiss

He looked past her, staring at the patrons behind her. “I don’t know how to trust people,” he finally said. But sitting there with Bella, he wanted to. He fucking wanted to build a bridge with her, but he had no idea how.

He looked down at his hands, which had started to burn again. He reached out and took Bella’s hand. “Feel hot now?”

As he knew she would, she looked surprised. “Your hand feels like it’s on fire. Why?”

He released her hand and flexed his fingers, wanting to haul ass to the ocean and plunge his hands in there. “When I put my hands in salt water, it helps.”

She cocked her head, curiosity evident on her face. “Did you contract some tropical disease or something?”

He shrugged. “Something like that.” That was all he could say.

She leaned back. “Something like that,” she repeated.

He could hear the disappointment in her voice. He’d hurt her by not telling her what was going on. Fuck. He wanted to be a husband and dad. He wanted to give kids a home that he never had. And here he was, with the woman he wanted, shutting her out because he was scared?

Fuck.

Was this what it was like to have a relationship? Because if it was, then…

Then he had to be what she deserved. “Fine.” He leaned forward. “When I was in Sedona, Arizona a few years ago, I met this guy and he said, I was a healer.”

She blinked. “A healer?”

“Yeah. I met him at a roadside tavern, and he walked up and said I was a healer, and I was blocking it. He said the world needed me, and I was shutting down my gift.”

To his surprise, Bella didn’t tell him he was crazy. “What kind of healer?” she asked instead.

He shrugged and waved his hands. “Apparently, I have magic hands. I can touch people and heal them. Past traumas, and also physical healing.”

Her eyes widened. “Can you?”

“Can I?”He leaned in, surprised by her reaction, as if it could be true. “Don’t you think it’s weird? And I’m crazy?”

Bella’s face softened. “Falcon, the world needs gifts like that. I’ve never met anyone who can do it, but why wouldn’t it be possible? And why not you?”

“Because I grew up in violence, surrounded by drug addiction and murder. And I spent half my life in the darkest of places chasing a vile monster. I’m too tainted and dirty to save anyone.”

“Hey.” She sat up. “Never say that. None of us are dirt. It doesn’t matter what we’ve done or been through. You know that. How can you even say that? Our circumstances don’t devalue our worth. Ever.”

He ran his hands through his hair, restless. Unsettled. He wanted to move. To run. “Bella, the things I’ve done over the last twenty years would make you want to never look at me again?—”

“Shut up.” She leaned forward. “Can you heal people with your touch, Falcon?”

“No.” He threw up his hands, surrendering to her questions. He couldn’t make her see the stains on his soul if she didn’t want to. It was irritating, but at the same time, he felt like dropping to his knees in gratitude. “No, I can’t heal people,” he answered. “Ever since he told me that, my hands burn when there’s someone near me who needs help. I tried a couple times, and nothing. I can see colors around people sometimes now. Like your heart. Weird shit happens around me. To me. I think I’m going crazy. And yeah, so yeah. I just—” He held up his hands. “They fucking burn. And I see colors. And I know things. And that’s…yeah. I talk to spirit guides, but they haven’t helped me with this healing thing. And—” He cut himself off. “So, yeah.”

Fuck. He felt uncomfortable. Life was so much easier when he ate every meal alone.

Bella held out her hands. “Falcon.”

“I don’t need sympathy. I just—” He looked at her, suddenly desperate. “Am I fucking crazy, Bella? You’d tell me the truth, right? Sometimes I think I could heal someone, but it’s just out of my reach. Am I…crazy?”

“No,” she said. “Take my hands, Falcon.”

He shifted, but he put his hands in hers.

She tightened her grip on him. “Falcon, when people go through really hard things, they become more. We’ve all experienced it. I think it makes perfect sense that a man likeyou would become a bright, shining light after darkness tried to drown him.”

He looked down at her hands around his. She was holding onto him. Not pushing him away. Not rejecting him. Holding onto him. “I can’t do it, though. If it is a gift I have, then I’m not worthy enough to have it.”

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