Page 19 of Stryker

“He tried to protectyou.”

“Yes.”

“They wanted you to live,no matter what.”

“Of course, they did. Theyloved me; they were my parents.”

“Then why should you feelguilty for doing something they desperately wanted you to do?Live.”

“Because I’m the one whodidn’t want to live without them,” John said. “Now, back to you.How do you think you failed?”

Stryker felt the familiar heaviness inhis chest when he answered. “It’s always the same. My team waswiped out, and I wasn’t there to protect them. The situationchanges in each of the nightmares. One time, we’ll be in thedesert. The next, we could be in the ocean, or on an aircraftcarrier, or in some damn jungle somewhere. But the results arealways the same. They die, and I live, and it’s myfault.”

John looked at him oddly. “Don’t yousee it? We both have survivor’s guilt. It’s just that yours hasn’thappened in reality. Your greatest fear is not protecting thepeople you care about, and that’s what gives you nightmares. On theother hand, I didn’t have a chance to protect the people I careabout and survived. That’s my nightmare. Our nightmares aren’t thatdissimilar.”

Well, hell, Stryker wasn’tsure he could accept the fact he was suffering his own type ofsurvivor’s guilt without the worst-case scenario everhappening.Maybe I’m more fucked up than Ithought.

“Let me ask you this,”John said, leaning forward, as the covers fell off and Stryker gota glimpse of a tantalizing treasure trail. “Would you havesacrificed yourself to keep your team alive, or chosen to diealongside them?”

“Either. If I couldn’tsave them, I’d rather be taken out with them.” He was certain ofthat.

“Then how is that so muchdifferent than my wishing I’d died with my parents?”

Stryker wasn’t sure how to answerthat. Were they flip sides of the same coin?

“I don’t know,” headmitted. “I guess you and I aren’t that different afterall.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Stryker

The next morning was crisp and cool ashe and John pulled into the driveway at the lake house and parkedamong the row of vehicles the team owned. Last night’s conversationhad left more questions in Stryker’s mind than he had to beginwith, and he didn’t like that.

“Do you think Brick willhave any answers about who’s supposedly after me?” John asked fromthe passenger seat.

“I don’t think; I know hewill. Brick isn’t a person who deals with ambiguities. Facts matterto him, and he’s definitely the man who gets the facts.”

“You have a lot of faithin him.”

Stryker snorted. “Trust me, it’s notblind faith. Brick has proven himself over and over again to me andmany other people. If there’s one person I can always count on,it’s him.”

“I hope you’re right andhe’s found some answers. I want this to be over once and forall.”

Stryker could hear the frustration inJohn’s voice. “If I have anything to say about it, it will be. Ipromise you that.”

John glanced over at Stryker, lookingas if he wanted to say something, then quickly looked away. Strykerwasn’t the type of guy to force anyone to do anything they didn’twant, so he let it go. John would say what was on his mind when hewas good and ready.

They walked into the lake house, whichwas a hive of activity. Ben and Sammie were playing with their Legoblocks on the living room floor while Rick and Julia were cooking.Brick, Roman, Gunner, Jason, and Gator sat around the kitchentable, working on their laptops or reading the paper. It was justanother typical family day for the Fire Lake team.

“Morning, guys,” Juliasaid. “You want some breakfast?”

Stryker was never one to say no tofood. “That’d be great, thank you.”

They sat at the kitchen table, andRick brought them two cups of coffee.

“Thanks,” Johnsaid.

“No problem. Plenty morewhere that came from,” Rick said, pointing over at Julia’scoffeemaker extraordinaire. The thing had more bells and whistlesthan the first human-crewed space flight to the moon.

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