Page 30 of Enforcer

“Then you haven’t broken a promise to her, but maybe yourself?” he asks.

I narrow my brows. “I don’t understand.”

“When someone close to us dies, someone we cherish above all else, we can make pacts and promises subconsciously without even realizing it. Perhaps you made one such promise that youwouldn’tmove on? That you would hold her in your heart for the rest of your days?”

I hang my head, enlightenment battering me over the head. This is why I stayed away from him for so long.

“I hate you,” I sob.

Another chuckle. “I’ve heard that before, and I forgive you.”

“How do I do that? How do I forgive myself for feeling what I’m feeling for this person? When Anna is...gone.”

Fuck, that was hard to say.

Father Russo sighs. “That is the question, isn’t it? Forgiveness is a tricky business. It is a game of intentions, sortof. You need to just do it. Give it all the intention, and forgive yourself. Let yourself feel it.”

I laugh. “Fake it until you make it?”

“Kind of. You could put it that way. What would Anna have wanted?”

Fuck him for being good at his job.

I let my head fall back and hit the confessional wall. “We promised one another we’d move on if something ever happened. We knew how dangerous this life was. This life doesn’t care if you’re in love or if you have a family; any one of us could die bloody and alone every time we step foot outside.”

“Mm, I see no sin in anything you’ve done, but I understand your need for council tonight. If you need anything more, you know where to find me. Would you like me to close with a prayer?”

I tell him I would and bow my head as he prays for my new relationship—already doomed before it begins—and prays that Anna’s soul is at rest.

I take a moment after he exits to collect myself. When I walk out of confession, he’s waiting on the first pew.

He stands when I approach, opening his arms as he embraces me in a hug that warms my soul.

Luca Russo has that effect.

He’s eye to eye with me at six-foot-four, with all-white hair and dark eyes. He’s only in his late thirties but has had silver hair since I’ve known him for over ten years.

“It’s good to see you, old friend,” he says, clapping me on the shoulders when I pull back from his hold.

I nod. “Sorry I stayed away so long.”

He started as a young priest when I met him, and he was the one who led Anna’s service.

“It’s to be expected.”

We sit and idly chat, catching up on the last eight years before I finally ask him if he’ll officiate Ardesia Ricci’s wedding to Brynne.

It takes some convincing, but when I leave the cathedral, I have a venue and a priest booked for one week from today. Some favors are owed to the good Father Russo for him having to deal with the angry couples we bumped from their wedding dates, but I got the job done. That’s all I care about.

The ride home was different than the ride there was. I’m lighter.

That is until I turn my phone on and read the messages from Ardesia.

“Pauly, change of plans. Take me to Slate’s apartment.”

“Got it, Boss.”

The car turns around, a few others honking in annoyance as we head back toward our destination.

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