Page 123 of Enforcer

“Alright, I’m drunk enough to hear what you came to say. Go ahead.”

She gets out her phone, clicks on something, and starts scrolling, her hands shaking.

She clears her throat. “Thank you. When I wake up without you, it nearly kills me, too. I’m glad you survived for me. I think about what we could’ve been if I were different, but never in my thoughts are you any different. You’re perfect.”

It takes a few more moments until I realize she’s answering my text messages.

Tears overflow from my eyes, and I let them.

She continues, “What things would you do to me if I were there? I miss you, too. I’m so fucking proud of you and how you kicked ass in recovery. I wish I could’ve seen it all. I wish I were stronger. I wish I were more like you. You’re not afraid of anything. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I have nightmares, too. I’m sorry, too. The world isn’t dimmer without you; it’s fucking bleak.”

My tears are blurring my vision, and I want to stop her. I want to kiss her.

But I want all of her answers.

Fuck, I’ve wanted all of these answers for so long. I know it took her a long time to decide to come here, too, so I let her keep going.

“Pain is for the birds, and I’m sorry I caused your pain.”

She puts the phone down, and I open my mouth to reply. She shakes her head.

“You’re the strongest man that I know, and you’re the only man in my life that I’ve ever cared about. It scares me, Dante. Commitment scares me. I don’t know if I can ever be what you deserve, which scares me. Being without you and feeling this pain for the rest of my life petrifies me.”

I swallow; she’s doing so well.

Even if I can smell the alcohol on her breath.

After all, who am I to judge?

“I just needed to apologize, Dante. I needed to answer these. I’ve almost texted back a thousand times. I’ve almost come here a million more times than that. You’ve changed me. Changed my life. Changed how I see the world, and I don’t know…” She starts to hyperventilate, and I pull her back into me as she starts crying again.

“Shh, tesoro. I forgive you. Fuck, I was never mad at you. Shh, don’t cry. You’re killing me.”

“I’m just so sorry,” she snivels, and I hug her tighter.

“I know, tesoro. I know.”

She cries until she runs out of tears, or maybe she’s fallen asleep.

I don’t move, even though my feet are falling asleep, and my eyes are growing heavy.

I hold her as tightly as my arms will allow, feeling her breaths on my neck and drinking in the feel of her.

When morning comes, I wonder if she’ll still be here. I also wonder if this is all a drunken dream.

Another hour passes before I finally have to move. With great effort, I stand, holding her to me and carrying her into her room, where I’ve been sleeping since I got home.

Laying her on the bed, I climb behind her and tug her close. I wrap around her and get her as close as I can.

If she’s only here for a night, I’ll soak in every minute I can.

I close my eyes, and for once, sleep finds me.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

ALYSSA

Three weeks later

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