Page 101 of Enforcer

“Good, and you? I saw you called earlier, but I just got a chance to return it,” I lie.

I shift on my stool. She and I haven’t been very close since the divorce, and talking to her always makes me uncomfortable.

“I’m well. I just wanted to see how New York is treating you. Your new job is going well?” she asks.

Small talk. Great.

“Everything is fine. Other than…” I almost slip and tell her all about Dante and the bullshit going on, but bite my tongue.

“Other than what?” she prods.

I grapple back and forth inwardly with how to proceed before sighing. “I met a man, and it’s not like usual. He’s hard-headed and won’t take no for an answer. I told him I don’t want something committed, but he keeps showing up, and the more he does…” I close my eyes, hating to admit weakness to her.

She’s the strongest person that I know.

“The more you want him to stay? Alyssa… I know the divorce scarred you. Hell, it scarred me, dear. But you’ve been wallowing in my pain for far too long. I’ve moved on; you need to as well.”

I scoff. “You haven’t moved on, Mom.”

“I have. His name is John.”

“Original,” I toss back like I’m fifteen all over again.

“Alyssa.”

“Sorry.”

“We’ve been dating for two years nearly.”

Shock slams into me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She sighs, and I can feel the implication of it through the phone. “Because you weren’t ready to know.”

I bite my lip, not having a reply for her, as a tear brims in my eye.

“What if he hurts me?” I ask her.

“If he hurts you, my love, you pick up the pieces, put them back together, and move on. Love hurts sometimes, but it’s always worth feeling.”

This is the realest conversation I’ve ever had with my mother, and I don’t know how to handle it.

“Dad hurt you so badly.”

“He did. And it was my choice not to move on for those years that I didn’t, Alyssa. He was my high school sweetheart. Those kinds of loves hurt that much deeper. I had to heal. Had to find myself again before I could give my heart away.”

I’m silent, and she’s patient.

“He hurt you, too, dear. For that, I’m sorry. I hate what he did to you. You went from a vibrant soul to one disillusioned by the world and its darkness. That hurt me the most, you know? The hate he bred in you with his cheating.”

Her admission has me floored. I never knew she noticed the change in me. I thought I hid it well.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom. I can’t wait to meet him. I’m sorry you felt you needed to hide him from me.”

“Thank you, Alyssa. That means a lot to me. The young man you’ve met, you’ll give him a fighting chance, right?”

I laugh. “As much as I can.”

We talk for another hour, catching up on years of things we should’ve been discussing this entire time. I go to bed feeling lighter and happier than I’ve ever been.

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