Page 114 of Enforcer

A burning ball of emotion chokes in my throat, and I try my best to swallow past it.

I’m too cowardly to face or even try to answer that question.

I face the window again, fully aware I’m sulking like a child who’s just gotten into trouble.

“When is the breaking point? When will you hit the point where you finally go up to her office and tell her all the shit you text her in person?”

We’re stopped in a gridlock, allowing me to let my anger boil over the top of the proverbial pot, making a split-second choice to leap out of the car.

Opening Pauly’s door with one hand, I use the other to unholster my 9mm and press it to his head. A scream sounds from somewhere as someone spots me.

Tears flow down my cheeks like two rivers, spilling over my chin like it’s the edge of a waterfall.

“You need to remember your fucking place in this family, Pauly, before I remind you,” I grind out, agony seeping into every word as I get them out.

He’s shaking, his two hands on the wheel, gripping tightly. “Yes, sir,” he bites out.

He wants to say more, but he won’t.

Realization of what I’m doing and how I’m behaving washes over me as if someone’s doused me in cold water, and I shove my gun back in its holster with a shaky hand and wipe the tears off my face.

I pat his shoulder, making him jump. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, Pauly. I’m…” I choke on the words I can’t get out past the new stretching lump in my throat as I close his door and get back into my own.

Traffic begins to move, and Pauly keeps his eyes averted as if the incident never happened.

Long after Pauly goes silent, his words echo around my head like ghosts, taunting me.

When is the breaking point?

When will I give up this folly of making her see that she loves me and move on with my life?

I was happy before Alyssa; I can be again.

The lie settles and sinks through me like a boat with a hole in its hull. Even if I don’t believe it, I know my subconscious won’t.

“We’re here, sir,” Pauly says, culling me from my mind and its darkness.

He gets out and opens the door for me.

I slide out, standing as I straighten my jacket. Removing my hat, I toss it back into the back seat.

“I’ll put them in the glovebox for tomorrow,” Pauly says in way of apology for what he said before.

I clap him on the shoulder, looking ahead so I don’t see the pity in his eyes, and lose it all over again. “Don’t bother, Pauly. I won’t need it any longer. Get rid of the glasses, too.”

“Yes, sir. Have a good day.”

“You too, Pauly,” I mutter, heading inside the building to a meeting I know Slate’s holding for me because I’m late.

This is the point in the game where you either double down or accept your loss. I don’t take defeat lightly, nor am I good at losing. But Pauly was right. They’ve all been right this entire time.

You’ve got to know when to fold ‘em, and I think it’s time.

Dante- 0

Love- 2

CHAPTER THIRTY

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