Page 41 of Filthy Ruck

“Is that what this is about? What do you really want? If the team finds out, I'm done.” He looked like he might wrap his hands around my throat and strangle me to keep me from saying a word.

“Unless you're planning to tell them, they won't know. Like I said, my two jobs are separate. At least, they were. I put in my resignation last night. I'm hoping the team will hire me full-time in a couple of weeks. Are you going to have a problem with that?”

He could decide to make things difficult for me. He seemed volatile at the best of times. Did he regret what we did last night, after all? At the time, he seemed to enjoy himself.

He slumped against the wall, leaning his weight on his shoulder, and shook his head, his mouth open. “Nothing about this makes sense. You're not supposed to be here.”

“I'm not?” I picked up the lanyard that lay around my neck and held out the identification card. “This says otherwise.”

He was starting to make me nervous. He could run out the door, straight to management, and get me booted out. Of course, they'd want to know how he knew what I did, but he could make up anything. He was one of the team's star players, whatever he told them, they'd listen.

“Why here?” he asked. “Why me? What do you really want?”

“I just want to do my job,” I said, trying to contain my frustration. “Mymedicaljob. As for why you, it's just my job.”

His head jerked back like I'd hit him. “Just your job,” he whispered. “Fucking me was just your job.”

I decided not to address that out loud. There was more to last night than that. I'denjoyedscrewing him.

I reminded myself if it wasn't him, it would have been someone else.

“Why did Storm pay you to be with me?” His brow creased deeply, showing grooves across his forehead.

“You'd have to ask him that,” I said. “I guess he was being nice.” And he was trying to choose who I fucked. Not to mention he seemed to enjoy watching. For him, it was all about control. It turned him on to have control over me. It turned me on to let him.

“He knew how much I wanted you,” Dallas whispered. “You're all I can think about. I haven't been sleeping, I can hardly eat.”

“Is this where you say that wouldn't have been the case if you knew I'd turn up here?” I asked. “Because everything that happened at Flirts was only supposed to be a fantasy?”

In the minds of some men, women like me weren't supposed to exist in the real world. We were there for them to get off, then we disappeared into the backs of their minds. We weren't of the same world as their wives, girlfriends, or daughters.

Except that we were.

He closed his eyes tight. “Women like you don't give a shit about guys like me.”

“Who hurt you?” I asked without thinking. Was that too blunt? Possibly, but the words were out and I couldn't take them back.

“Ex-girlfriend,” he said without opening his eyes. “She cheated. Walked in on them together.”

“And since then, you're sure of…what? That women just want to use you?”

He opened his eyes and shrugged one shoulder. “Most of them only give a shit because I play for the Smashers. They only want what they can get from me, then they fuck off. You're not any different.”

I grimaced. “Ouch. Believe it or not, I don't want anything from you. I don't need you in order to raise my social media profile. I don't need your money. At least, I won't when I get my job here. I don't even need you to like me. What I do need is for you to step into the treatment room so we can start your physical.”

“Did you hate it?” he asked.

“Hate what?” I pushed a few stray strands of hair off my face and tried to contain my irritation at his stubbornness. Doctor Stuart wasn't going to be impressed if he got back and I wasn't finished. Not to mention that another player would be along soon.

If there was anything in the world I didn't like, it was wasting time.

“Fucking me,” he insisted. “You only did it because you got paid. Otherwise you wouldn't have. Why would you fuck anyone for money?”

“Because I don't hate it,” I said as evenly as I could. “I like sex, and I like eating.”

He looked confused.

“In order to eat, I need money,” I said. “I guess you could say I like sex and I like money. And I liked having sex with you. I've never faked my enjoyment, and I never will.”

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