Page 84 of Lamb

Ash didn’t answer, nor acknowledge my expression. She just waited.

I thought about it genuinely, but no matter which way I turned it or looked at it, my answer didn’t change.

“I don’t know.” I thought of my childhood, of my family. “I have never loved, nor been loved in that way. I knew something was different when I saw other families; how they acted with each other in ways I didn’t understand or ever felt the need to. I’ve seen it in my brothers; how they are with their women and children. I’ve seen what they have. But I don’t think it’s what we have.” I paused, watching her process the words. She didn’t seem surprised, but something had made her stop and consider. She tilted her hips into mine, and my arms snaked around herwaist, liking the way her body responded to mine. “What about you?” I turned the tables, leaning my weight into her.

Ash stiffened at my words, but I wouldn’t let her escape. I leaned in close, watching those pale eyes bounce back and forth between mine, her walls shooting up.

“We’re not talking about me,” Ash argued, trying to turn her head away. I chased her, my face following hers, closer and closer until our noses nearly touched.

“Call it Stockholm if it makes you feel better,” I purred, my teeth aching to nip the tip of that small, soft nose. I yearned to hear her startled gasp. “You’ve always been looking at me. Ever since we met, your eyes have followed me everywhere.”

“That is because you—”

“Yes,” I interrupted. “Because my eyes followed you, too.” I had never hidden that I had been watching her. Not once. I wanted her to know I saw her. Wanted her to know I saw where she lurked in the shadows, and no matter how much she wished to hide and squirm away, I would shine a light on her. I saw her. All of her.

Heat flushed across Ash’s face, and the sight of the pink blush made a burn seer in my chest. It was electric and almost painful as it rushed over my skin, knowing I had her shy and flustered in my grasp.

“So, what was it? Was it my looks? My intelligence? My position in the club?” I slid my cheek alongside hers, loving the heat burning there. My lips reached the inside of her ear, and I pressed a soft, slow kiss there, the shiver down her spine traveling straight to my dick. The fire burned brighter.

“It was the emptiness,” Ash whispered, her breath swirling in my ear. I pulled back just enough to see her face. She looked up into my eyes, this time steady and honest. “I thought you were like me—empty on the inside. Drained.” She shook her head. “But you are not. How could you be drained when you werenever full in the first place. No reason to live, but no reason to die either.” She reached up, fingers stroking the edges of my face, touching deeper into my mind.

She wasn’t wrong. The days would pass in a blur as I looked from one thing to another. Nothing felt much different from the rest. My world was shades of gray, like I was waiting, watching the world pass me by. I was an observer, seeing how the world worked but never being able to find a place where I fit. It didn’t bother me, and I never craved to be a part of it. It was simply how it was.

“I am the opposite,” Ash continued, her fingers pausing on my chin, tentative and delicate. “I have every reason for both. Reasons to live. Reasons to die. But there are more than one than the other.”

“Even now?” I whispered, leaning down and pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth. I pulled back, looking into her eyes.

Ash didn’t answer. Instead, with both hands, she reached up, wrapped them around the back of my neck, and pulled me closer. She pressed her lips against mine, tongues tangling together, and whatever questions left between us disappeared between our touches.

None were asked, nor answered.

Perhaps there were no answers left to give.

Chapter Twenty-Three

ASH

“Icannot believe you had that this whole time,” I grumbled, not genuinely surprised as Lamb unlocked the cell door. The heavy thing swung open with a creak and a cry for WD-40. It was so loud I was sure everyone in the compound heard our escape.

“I had Wolf slip me the key before we went in,” Lamb revealed, sweeping his arm out in a polite gesture.

“So, you planned this whole thing together.” I sighed, feeling the weight of my soul crumple in my chest.Of course, they did.

“Wolf’s a good actor when he wants to be.” Lamb shrugged, waiting for me to cross the threshold before following behind me. “Wolf had insisted you stay in the cage, but I made it clear we came as a pair, so if he wanted me, he had to take you, too.”

“I feel so charmed,” I scoffed, sarcasm dry on my tongue. “And the point of this was …?”

“To get you to be honest with me.” Lamb tucked the key back into his jeans pocket before walking towards me and reaching for my hand. I didn’t get much of a choice as he scooped my hand into his, threading our fingers together. Not one for clingy interactions, I fought to shake my hand free, but the fucker had a good grip. I gave up, lacking the energy to fight and thewillpower to challenge this man. I had long since realised it was better to pick my battles with him.

“And …?” I probed. “It does not sound like it has done you much good.”

“It has.” Lamb paused as if he was thinking it over when I knew he had already formulated a plan within his great scheme. “I’m going to tip the scales.”

“What?”

“If you have more reasons to die, then I will give you more reasons to live,” Lamb answered. “And if that becomes my reason for living, then that’s two birds, one stone.”

“Simple as that?” A laugh burst from my mouth.

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