Page 113 of Jax

Even my own horse didn’t want to look at me.

I laid down on the bench where Jax had confirmed his feelings for me, staring at the back of a brand-new shovel reflecting the puffed, red face glaring back at it. It only took a second for me to turn onto my other side.

I didn’t want to look at me either.

Not even as my tears dampened the hay. Or as my sniffles and sobs filled the quiet barn, wondering if I was crying for Jax or for me.

Probably both.

It wasn’t long before I heard the rumble of Jax’s bike fading away into the distance, leaving me behind once more. I buried my face into my arm and pretended that I didn’t hear it, hoping to fall asleep and leave all this heartache behind, even if for a moment.

But I didn’t sleep that night.

Just likethatnight.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Jax

“Jackson,” Ronnie cried over the howls of the rain, tugging at my arm. “Wait!”

“We don’t have time, Ronnie.” I sighed, grabbing her wrist and tugging her behind me. She didn’t struggle, but I could hear the weight of her feet splashing through the puddles.

My body halted, whirling to see her heels dug into the ground, boots and jeans covered in more mud than they should have been. Rain fell over her wet cheeks, and the headlights of the car beaming through the rain glinted off her face.

I could hear my heart pulsing loud in my ears, impatience pumping adrenaline through me as I glanced back to the waiting car.

“Come on, Ronnie. We have to get going before my father realizes what’s up!”

“But the farm….”

“Leave it, Ronnie,” I snapped in exasperation. “We’ve already talked about this. There’s no hope here.”

“But Max—”

“We’ll come back and get her when we’re settled elsewhere.” I sighed. I took a step into her space, the damp puddle filling the small hole in my boot as my socks soaked up the muddy water. I reached up my hands to cup her cheeks, bringing her small, oval face up. Her dark lashes collected beads of the rain, and the droplets running down her cheeks only highlighted that childish cuteness. “Ronnie.” I reached forward and pressed a short kiss to her forehead. “This is it. Our only chance to get away from here at long last. What are you waiting for?”

“I….” Her voice faded into a mumble, eyes searching mine. The dark green dulled by the night, and pink lips paled by the cold rain.

“Come on.” My hand trailed back down to her wrist, and with a reassuring smile, I turned back to the van and began to pull her along behind me.

She didn’t move.

My frown deepened, the rain squeezed between the wrinkles of my brow as I looked down at her. Through the blur of the rain, her head had fallen, eyes staring down into the mud. “Ronnie?” I couldn’t hide the waver in my voice. The confusion and concern. “You’re coming, right?”

I gave her another testing tug on her arm, but her feet only dug in deeper. “Jackson…,” she whimpered, head shaking. Her quivering lip mumbled, but the impatient rev of the truck’s engine drowned it out.

“Whatever it is, we can talk about it in the car, Ronnie!” I yelled, readjusting the bag weighing on my shoulders. Full of the bare minimum it would take to get by. Just to get started. We would get more things later. “We gotta go!”

I turned back to the truck and managed to pull her a few steps before I heard the cry of her voice.

“I can’t.”

I froze.

It felt like the rain slowed in the air. The stuttering engine of the truck became a deep tick. My body moved as if it were treading swamp water as I turned to face her.

Green eyes bleached by the truck’s blinding lights, my looming shadow darkened half of her face. “What?”

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