Page 30 of Jax

Inch by inch disappeared, and a calmness descended upon me. I steered clear of direct eye contact but kept my gaze steady. My heart rate calmed as I approached her, the warmth of her breath pushing back the tendrils of my hair that fell over my face.

She was so close, like wrapping me in her body’s warm embrace.

This was my beautiful, powerful girl who had been at my side for over ten years. The girl I owed my life and my heart to. She deserved everything in this world, because no matter how stubborn she was, or how much attitude she threw at me, she was more valuable than anything else on this planet.

My hand reached up, the rope loose in my hands as I moved. Calling forth the same natural movement I had developed over our years together, the calmness we used to share, I lifted the lasso over her ears and let it slip over her short black mane.

Her breathing hitched, and her body went as still as stone.

Maybe it was too soon. Maybe it—

She snorted. A playful, satisfied huff into my face.

“Maxi,” I whispered as the widest, almost painful smile, lit up on my face.

I didn’t think. My hand reached up to her face, palm flat and firm. I was aware of Jax’s voice somewhere in the distance, but I couldn’t stop. The soft, hot, and sweat-damp fur pressed against my palm as my hand rested between the bridge of her eyes.

Max’s breathing stilled again, just for a moment. It was enough. I broke out of my trance and Jax’s crystal voice cut through the air.

“Ronnie!” he snapped, and I was aware he had jumped down from his perch, a second lasso in a firm grip between both of his hands. “Don’t push it.”

I looked to Max, feeling the cool breeze over my damp palm from where her head pulled away from me to look to Jax. Both of us could feel the tension rippling in the air, but he didn’t look at Max, he kept his eyes on me.

“Ronnie,” he said, with a little more persistence. I understood.

Little steps.

I slid my fingers up the slack rope, my index hooking over the knot and tugging it down the rope. Max stood still as the lasso loosened around her neck until it fell from her shoulders and to the dirt.

I wrapped it back up around my arm and tucked it over my shoulder. Looking once more at Max before stepping away. She watched me, eyes following me as I made my way back over to Jax.

When I met up with Jax at the fence, without thinking about it, I bounced on my feet and pushed myself up over the fence, twisting my body and dropping down the other side. The impact on my leg was small, but I wasn’t even thinking about it as Jax dropped down next to me wide-eyed.

And then, it was like a bubble popped. My hand began to tingle with the feeling of Max that had been left like a wax impression on my skin, and I realized what I had just done.

I broke.

Tears and sobs came out in one big burst, and I threw myself at Jax, my arms going around his wide sides as I felt the single ray of light and hope break through the dreary darkness I had been shrouded in for the last twelve months.

I didn’t care that he tensed up like stone. Or that his arms didn’t come around me. Or the way he stopped breathing all together. All I could think about was Max.

“I touched her,” I sobbed. “I finally touched her.”

Because it was that moment that I let myself at long last believe the one thing I had been begging God for the last year. “She’s here. She gets to stay,” I cried. “I don’t have to put her down.”

And that’s when I felt the weight on my back and neck. Jax’s arms wound around me, his hand pressing against the nape of my neck, plastering me to his chest as he dropped his head into my hair, and through the emotion overwhelming me, I could do nothing but cling back to him, and realize that this is what I had needed in my life.

I needed Jax.

Chapter Seven

Jax

Icouldn’t sleep.

I couldn’t think.

I couldn’t even breathe without tasting her smell on my lips.

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