Page 11 of Jax

My boots stirred up a cloud of dust around my ankles, the particles already clinging to my jeans as I slammed the creaky door shut and looked around. The first thing I spotted and was overjoyed to see was Max’s trailer. It was parked beside a traditional red and white further up the track. As I approached, I saw a lone figure sitting on the top of one of the fences. When I came close enough into view to take the sight in, I halted.

Perched with that same impeccable balance, haunches up and tucked underneath his body, arms resting on those wide-set knees, was Jackson. His delicate position made it seem as if a single breath would knock him off that high fence, but I knew all too well he was as sturdy as stone.

The wind blew, and he leaned slightly into its embrace, his black curled hair caught in the breeze, brushing against the back of his bare neck. Brown eyes winced in the sunlight as he looked across the pastures and fields with an air of natural calm surrounding him. For just a second, I could see into the past. I could my Jackson sitting there, so relaxed, and peaceful, surrounded by the dirt, sweat, and sun that made him into the boy I remembered.

But this wasn’t Jackson. Just like the image arrived in a sudden wind, it disappeared the same way. The memories swept out of my vision and into thin air leaving me with an empty longing.

Damn this nostalgia….

I tried my best to move my lead feet, fending off that clinging feeling, as I stepped out of the sun and into Jax’s shadow.

“You’re three minutes late,” Jax announced, not moving an inch from his spot.

I ignored his comment, walking up to the fence and resting my arms over the second bar, peering through the gap. I may have been 5’ 8”, but pasture fences were tall, and I’d never been able to see over the top of one while standing and had long since given up trying.

Instead, Jackson’s shadow provided the perfect shade for my eyes to seek out what I had been looking for ever since I arrived.

Max’s beautiful brown coat appeared a golden bay under the warm sunlight as she stood in its direct rays. Her uneven, cropped mane rippled in the breeze and the long, slightly matted tail swept against her hind legs.

I shuffled on my feet, happy to see her out in the open, but the noise must have been louder than I expected, and Max’s head spun in my direction.

Her ears shot forward, her body turning to face me, shoes shuffling backward, away from my direction until her hind end hit the fence. She didn’t panic, but the caution radiating off her had me immediately backing away from the fence.

I should have been used to this reaction by now, should have expected it, but every time she reacted to me like I was a threat, it swelled up the painful guilt nestled deep in my core. The emotional blow had me looking for any kind of distraction.

“You work fast,” I said into the air, trying desperately not to look in Max’s direction as I could hear her starting to pace the back fence; she must have noticed me. I wasn’t unaware, though, of the shake of her head in my peripheral vision as she homed in on anything and everything around her.

“She needed space,” Jackson replied, his voice neutral, as if he hadn’t seen the interaction that had just happened. But he did. He always had. “Couldn’t keep her in that cramped trailer any longer.”

I nodded. One of the reasons I had spent most of my time in dingy motels was because I needed to rent pastures for Max. It had been difficult and expensive to rent a field for a single horse with issues like Max’s. Not to mention when I had to get her out of the trailer….

What Jax saw and dealt with had been a mild reaction compared to my history of dealing with Max.

“Jackson—”

“Jax,” he interrupted. “It’s Jax now.”

“Right,” I uttered. I looked down at my worn leather boots. They kicked at the soft dirt around the edge of the pole, stirring up dust again when I heardJax’stongue click.

“Don’t scuff your boots,” he scolded.

“Good to see your pickiness hasn’t changed,” I said in reply, earning a scoff.

Jax swung his leg off the fence and dropped down onto the earth. My head tilted up at him, and despite the fact I’d grown an inch or two since he last saw me, he was still miles taller.

“Come with me,” he said, taking the lead and heading back toward the farm house.

Before I followed him, I took one last glance at Max who continued to pace back and forth across the length of the pasture in a frenzy.

We were silently walking until he noticed my flickering gaze over my shoulder and at his curt, “She’ll wear herself out and calm down,” I whipped my head forwards.

The sound of dirt crumbling beneath our boots was deafening as we walked past my old truck and up to the porch. The creak of the steps broke the unbearable silence between us. Cool shade hung over our heads as I gazed at the back of Jax’s neck, a slight peek of his hair from under his hat curling over the tanned skin. “Your place is lovely.”

“It’s not mine.”

Blunt as ever.

“It’s not?”

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