Page 87 of Wolf

Jax let out a soft chuckle as he dropped down to his haunches, picking up my stuff before handing it to me. “Youheadinghome?”

“No,” I said softly, “just putting some stuff inmycar.”

He nodded, stepping aside as I navigated around him to my door, throwing the envelope and bag on the side before pulling out the jacket I had in the back and shutting the door behind me. We didn’t say anything as I locked my car and began to walk to the other department of the hospital, away from the gynecologist department toward the main hospital, Jax falling into step nexttome.

He waited until we were inside, away from the bitter cold, when we were heading down the heated hallways towards Petersburg ward before he broached the subject he was here for. “Wolf wants toseeyou.”

I didn’treply.

“Anna, it’s been three weeks,” Jax pleaded, his voice becoming desperate. “You need to let himexplain.”

“Explain what?” I replied, my voice apathetic as I forced my eyes to the door at the very end of the long corridor, picking out sounds of trollies wheeling by, nurses gossiping, and pagers going off allaroundme.

“About what happened with Ash,” Jax said softly, stepping ahead of me as he tried to meetmyeyes.

We passed the canteen, and I turned away from his face to see someone filling up his coffee, the dull tone of the machine I was familiar with pouring lukewarm, watery coffee into a crappy Styrofoam cup. I wanted to warn him that the cup would burn his hands if he didn’t wrap a napkin around it first, but I just kept walking, not caring when I heard the man’s startled gasp, followed by the cup hitting the floor, coffee splashing everywhere as we left the waiting roombehindus.

“What’s there to explain?” I asked, counting down the numbers as one by one they dwindled down until room 81-B was before us. “He made hischoice.”

Jax hesitated as I reached for the door handle and swung openthedoor.

He held off following me in, pausing as I slid off my jacket and laid it out on the soft, cotton chair that had been placed by the side of the bed. I reached up and checked all the numbers on the machine, not understanding any of what they meant but still being able to tell that none of them had changed. Which meant nothing had happened in the hour or so I’d been gone on the other side of thehospital.

When I finally heard the boots enter the room behind me, I turned and saw Jax, his big, tanned and tattooed body dressed in only a tight white shirt, jeans, and boots, hovering in the doorway. “You can come in,” I said, lowering myself into the chair next to the bed. “It’s not like she’s going tobiteyou.”

Jax frowned at me, his eyes full of sympathy as he forced his eyes up from the white floors until they hit the bed. I watched as they moved slowly up over the blue blanket over the end of the bed, up higher until he could see her hands by her side, machines attached to her fingers and an IV in her arm, and then higher and higher until he could see her peaceful, sleeping face, brown hair fanned out over her pillow, eyes closed andskinpale.

He could barely hold them there for thirty seconds before his eyes fell back down to the floor inshame.

“It’s not your fault, Jax,” I said softly, gesturing to one of the standard hospital chairs nexttome.

Jax looked up, his eyes flicking to Ash before they jumped back to me. “I should have stopped him before he went through with any of it. We should have. We’re all atfault.”

“You’re right,” I said, reaching out my hand to touch his. “But my deal was between me andWolfonly.”

“Ha,” Jax scoffed, turning over my tiny hand compared to his large, calloused one, and started to play with my small fingers, his eyes heavy on my hands. “You make me feel like my parents are getting adivorce.”

“I wouldn’t give birth to such a big baby.” I chuckled, squeezing his hand. It didn’t do anything to improve his mood, but when he squeezed my hand back, I felt a little reassuredmyself.

We were quiet for a few moments, the sound of beeping and distant noise beyond the door filling the room; the clatter of dropped clipboards, opened and closed doors, and crying family and friends ofpatients.

“Was the envelope...?” Jax left the question hanging, and I had to think what he was referring to until I remembered what it was he had seen me putting into the car. He’d had his suspicions that morning a few weeks ago, and after everything went down, I had no choice but to confideinJax.

“Yeah,” I said softly, thinking about the heavy weight of the photographs in my hands when the nurse had passed them to me. Putting them in my car had put them out of minduntilnow.

Jax nodded again, creating yet another wall of silence. I watched him as he sat there, his eyes boring into the floor. He frowned, his mouth opened and then closed as he tried to broach the subject. I waited, letting him take his time to word it before he picked up the courage toaskme.

“Are you going to tell him?” Jax’s soft, southern voice finallyaskedme.

I was glad it filled the room. The emptiness was almost overbearing when I was on my own, but with the concern across his face, I couldn’t take much pleasureinit.

“You make it sound like I wouldn’t tell him at all.” I sounded lighthearted, triggering the frown on Jax’s beautifully sharp face to deepen. “I’ll tell him,” I answered, looking away from the brown eyes that saw too much as his attention clung to my every word. I had been kidding earlier, but Jax really did look like the lost child caught up in a parents’ fight. Jax and the rest of the brothers were dear to me, and I knew they cared about me, too. Half of them had respected my distance, while the other half that had the courage to come see me, all looked at me with the slight unease that their stubborn faces tried, and failed,tohide.

I knew what caused their unease, nearly all of them a witness to the last time I saw Wolf, ending with my “Property of” cut, and our relationship, torn to shreds on the floor. I knew I had to meet him, to talk about everything, but when Hunter had rushed in to see Mallory and only moments later told me about what had happened, I just felt as if the ice under my feet had broken, and under the waterIfell.

Everything felt surreal. Even looking at Ash now, the wires and tubes. I never thought I’d be able to be in a room with her and not be annoyed at her little remarks or quotes. Not yell at her or want to smack her for winding me up for fun. I had come so close to not being able to be near her at all, not after her heart had stopped from the shock of being shot. I had barely managed to thank Lamb after the doctor’s told me he was responsible for restarting herheart.

I let out aheavysigh.

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