Page 40 of Wolf

Wolf nodded, a soft chuckle under his breath. “Sasha had this huge crush on Oral. It was probably because he was easy on the eyes that most girls liked him, but in Oral’s case, she gave him a blackeye any time he tried to flirt with her. Another thing he must have picked up from me.” Wolf smirked, sending a glance my way. “But Oral worked in the local brothel, not as a prostitute, but as a handmaid. But not all customers thought that way. One of the men, some scumbag drug dealer, didn’t take Oral’s no for an answer.” Wolf didn’t delve any further, but from the scowl on his lips, he didn’t need to. “Sasha was so pissed, and so were we. But when we told Sasha we’d handle it, it wasn’t enough for him. When he found out Oral was pregnant—” His hand hit his thigh, his fingers tightened into a white ball, as he bared his teeth at the ground. “—he flipped. He and the other boys, they all went to track the guy down. But they were stupid and rash, and they headed straight to his hideout, too arrogant to realize they were nowhere near strong enough to take down an entire drug hoard. We left as soon as we realized they were missing. They were gone barely an hour, but by the time we arrived... it wastoolate.”

I held back a sob as Wolf’s head, which had lifted higher and higher as he told his story about the children, dropped when he hadfinished.

I thought back to the contents of the box. The case files and information sheets were all in Russian, but the dates and the photos attached told meeverything.

Several children were massacred. Not killed. Not murdered.Massacred.

“Were you the one who...?” The question was left hanging, but Wolf knew what I wasasking.

“Yeah. I got there first.” His voice cracked on the last word. I looked up to see a lone tear trail down his face. He didn’t brush it away or try to hide it. His tears of pain for Sasha and the others should never have to be hidden. I reached out and placed my hand over his knuckles. He opened his hand, allowing me to fit mine inbetween.

“The man who did that to them...?” I probed, squeezing my hand in his. My mind went back to my reaction when I first saw the photos of the grim attack. I had wanted to throw up at the sight of them, the impact of them so overwhelming that I had to escape to the roof before I forced myself to go throughtherest.

“They’re dead,” Wolf confirmed my thought. “We were supposed to get ahold of the drug problem in Penza years ago. There were no more reports after that. At first, I had thought Oral might have died, considering the extent of her trauma, but when I found no death certificate, nor a grave location, I realized that wasn’tthecase.”

“Where is Oral now?” I asked softly, unsure whether Wolf would divulge the information. But that was entirely notthecase.

“I don’t know,” he said after a moment, surprising me so much my repetition blurted frommylips.

“Youdon’tknow?”

“The day after the burial, I left forAmerica.”

Whatever I was expecting him to say, that was not even close. The news shocked me so much I didn’t know how to respond. I just found myself staring wide eyed, speechless for once as I waited for something. Some kind of explanation. But Wolf just continued. “I left a pregnant, scared little girl in a dark world, and I never went back. As far as I was concerned, everybody diedthatday.”

Wolf withdrew, the tension curling his muscles tight into himself. The hand that held mine became taut, but it remained gentle as my own limp fingers felt cold in hisgrasp.

My mind felt quiet as I looked to him for understanding. Looked for him to give me answers, to tell me the truth, just staring at him, at the face I knew so well, and the man who I’d looked to for the past three years. At the WolfIknew.

It was in that moment that I understood the truth was right in front ofmyeyes.

The truth was in the faintness of the laugh lines in his face and ridges of his brow. In the way his hands unconsciously sought to touch those he held dear with a clasp of the shoulder, a pat on the back, a kiss on my skin. It was in the aroma of whiskey that tinged each of his warm breaths and in the hands familiar with the bottle, the handsholdingmine.

“You left her to protect her,” I said out loud, and Wolf spun toward me, surprise exaggerating the whites in his eyes as his pupils bore into mine. “Don’t look so surprised.” I gave him a soft bump with my shoulder. “People don’t change so easily. And I know you. I know who you are. You’re a stubborn bastard, but you’re loyal. Loyal to a fault. In a world like ours, sometimes sacrifice is necessary to protect thoseyoulove.”

Wolf’s face softened on me, that rough exterior seeming more like a characteristic feature than a wall of protection. “I figured, if I was gone, she’d be free from the gang, disbanding it before I left. I loved Sasha, but drug hoards were infinite. If our gang had remained, they would no doubt track us down and use Oral against us. I couldn’t do that to Sasha, not to the girl heliked.”

Wolf’s torn voice went silent, and I couldn’t bring myself to fill the void it left, leaving the silence to drag on between us as my fingers brushed across the scars marring his knuckles and the callouses rough onhisskin.

“Am I abadman?”

I thought about it for a while. I wondered about my own family back home but knew my situation would never compare. I wondered,What if I were Sasha or Oral, but knew we probably wouldn’t think alike. And in the end, rather than give half-assed consoling reassurances, I told him, “I don’t know,” because the truth was all I couldtellhim.

Wolf nodded and accepted my answer, letting silence once again take us, the box of Sasha and his friends’ lives by Wolf’s side until its harsh end sat quietlybetweenus.

For a long time, Wolf didn’t say any more. But after his body relaxed and the disturbance of his emotions settled, he pulled the box onto his lap and opened the lid. He ignored the case details of the attack and instead pulled out a different little bundle of photos from the bottom of the box. My head lolled onto his shoulder, snuggled up to his warmth as one by one he went through the photos, telling me how old they were and what memory belonged to eachphoto.

Sasha was a beautiful boy. He was slim but strong, with almost white-blond and long hair tied in a ponytail similar to Wolf’s, and brown eyes. He never seemed to get older than fifteen or so in the old photographs, so carefully preserved. The same could be said about the other children. Apparently, the triplets were pranksters; Ivan was the leader of their troupe, while Aleksei had been a pushover and crybaby. Of the two girls, both Oral and Lada were tough. They’d never let the boys push them around, choosing to rule over them instead, though I could tell they had a few of the older members wrapped around their fingers as well. Both beautiful, reaching only the ages of eighteen or nineteen before the photos stopped. The rest of the boys seemed to rally behind Sasha, however, considering he was the only one the girls couldn’t bully into submission. A golden sun in their own little youngster gang, always wanting to come on business deals, but with the exception of the rare use of the triplets, they were left to “guard”theirbase.

I wondered what they would look like all grown up now. They’d all be in their late twenties by now, all having their own jobs, adult lives. The triplets, perhaps, still playing pranks on everybody. The boys would maybe have jobs—no doubt all hands-on jobs with Wolf’s influence. And maybe Oral and Sasha would have been married with children oftheirown.

It was a nice image that warmed me as I looked up to see that the stars and the moon were at their peak in the sky. The noise outside wasn’t too loud; the music was mostly muted from indoors, with only light chatter and the crackle of the bonfire filling thenightair.

“Leaving Oral,” Wolf said suddenly, “it messed me up for a long time. I was getting drunk in bars to mask my pain, trying to forget about her. I would pick a fight with whomever, just to distract me from thoughts of going back for her. That’s how Roscoe found me. I was drunk off my ass in a bar, beating up some prick. Apparently, I told him my story, and because Bell was around that age, he couldn’t bear to leave me alone. I didn’t want his sympathy though, and once I made that perfectly clear, Roscoe stopped being sympathetic and kicked my ass back into shape. Taught me that I should never try to forget her, that the sacrifice the kids made should be honored, and that I do that by not shutting people out and making sure to treasure the things I hold dear.” Wolf turned to look at me, his face an open book, allowing me to see into this man who had remained half a mystery through most of the time I’d known him. He reached up, his hand cupping my face as the rough callus of his thumb brushed over my skin. “You’re one of the things I hold dear, Anna. You can give me as much shit as you want. You can try to near kill me every day. You can argue with me until I’m blue in the face. But I’ll love youanyway.”

My whole existence throbbed at the mere mention of the L-word. My heart raced in my chest at the weight of his words, and for a person who had every comeback known to man at my disposal, I was lost forwords.

Wolf must have seen it on my face, too, because he suddenly let out a roar oflaughter.

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