“It probably says how bad of friends we were.” Kent cringes. “We agreed not to tell you because we didn’t want to mess upwhat we had. We should have told you rather than hidden it and talked behind your back. That was the cowardly way out. We’re sorry.”
Simon and Oliver nod in agreement.
A smile curves my lips. “I did the same thing.”
Oliver jerks his head back. “You did?”
Lifting my glass, I drink what’s left for courage. After swallowing, I nod. “I did, for the same reason as you.”
“Damn,” Simon mutters. “We’re stupid.”
Laughter bursts from me at his seriousness. Kent, Simon, and Oliver join in, our hysterics filling the house. My earlier worries fade, replaced with a slight calmness. It’s the same feeling I had last night as we spent more time together.
I have no career, no idea where my life is headed, and I’m living with my mother again. At an age where I should have everything figured out, I don’t.
But I’m beginning to sense that’s okay. We may have been apart for twenty years, but our connection hasn’t diminished. It somehow feels stronger than it was before. We are no longer holding back or avoiding the hard topics. I feel free, and this time, it’s not because of the alcohol. I only had one glass, so my head is clear. The burden I was carrying before evaporates.
“So, what now?” I ask.
“You still haven’t answered,” Oliver says.
I roll my eyes. “You lived in California. I’d assume you’ve eaten sushi before.”
“Yes, I have.” Oliver finishes off his beer.
“I meant, what do we do now?” I motion to the four of us. “About this. I haven’t dated since I left my ex. It feels weird to be with someone else, especially three guys at once.”
“Our situation is new for all of us,” Kent says. “We don’t have to rush anything.”
“We can just go with the flow,” Simon suggests. “If anyone changes their mind or no longer wants to explore what this could be, we can just go back to being friends, no questions asked.”
“I guess…” I bite my bottom lip.
“What is it?” Oliver asks.
I sigh. “I don’t want anyone to get their feelings hurt.”
“We’re all adults.” Simon sets his empty beer on the floor. “No one is going to judge you or get upset if things don’t work out. Do whatever feels natural to you. Don’t worry about other things. We can deal with the rest later.”
Oliver and Kent voice their approval.
I guess there’s no harm in that.
We decidedto call it a night after our talk. I awaken hours later, shivering from the cold. The room is dark, the fireplace no longer lit. I feel around for my phone, but can’t find it. What I do find is Oliver. He’s sleeping quite close to the couch on the floor. My hand touches his arm. For a moment, I’m surprised by its muscular density. I must have been too drunk last time to notice.
I caress downward, visualizing the veins under his skin as I trace them with my fingers. I’ve always loved the sight of them on men and the masculinity they allude. Oliver hums as if he’s enjoying my perusal.
“Melanie,” he mumbles in his sleep.
My lips curve into a smile. He’s thinking of me unconsciously. Something akin to affection stirs inside me.
They said go with the flow, right?
Liking the idea more than I probably should, I scoot onto the floor beside him. It’s a tight fit, so I’m practically on top of him already. As if on instinct, Oliver leans his head toward me.
“Hi,” I whisper.
He groans and moves his hand to grip my leg that’s laid over his. “Hi, baby.”