Page 61 of Small Town Hunter

I climb off his back. He’s so much bigger than me it’s like he’s another species. But giant as he is, I feel so safe with him, and hemakes my body feel right. I feel like a woman. Not a scared little girl trying to hide.

I hear his deep breathing, feel his body so close to me on this mattress. I know I should just be quiet, lie here, and go back to sleep.

“Can I sleep here?” Crash asks. “The floor is jacking up my back.”

“Okay,” I say.

Yes. Yes.

“We’ll leave room for Jesus,” he says, throwing a pillow between us. I fight the urge to kick it to the floor.

Go to sleep. Leave him alone.

“Do you miss it?” I ask.

“Miss what?”

“Doing what a man does.”

“You and these questions. Of course I miss it.”

“Why are you celibate? What’s the reason?”

He doesn’t answer for a long time, making me think he’s gone to sleep. Then suddenly he says, “I was attracted to Zacky’s wife. Jess. My wife.”

“Is that a…bad thing? She’s your wife.”I hate her.

“I was attracted to her while she was married to Zacky,” he says slowly.

“Oh.”

“I knew it was wrong, of course. She was my type. Blonde, pretty…big tits. Kind of an airhead.”

“Hmph.”

“Yeah, I know. I was an idiot.”

“Did you have anaffair?” I have to force the words out. If he did, I can’t look at him the same again.

To my relief he says, “No. We never got physical, ever. But from the moment I first saw her…I would picture her, every time I was alone…I would…ah.” His voice gets rougher and full of self-hatred. “I’d fantasize about her. She’d call me up sometimes. I think she knew. Women know these things. She’d flirt with me, a little. Bitch about Zacky. When he died, and I agreed to marry her, take care of Ruby…it weren’t just from the goodness of my heart. It was lust, some of it. Pure and simple.”

“So what happened?”

“For one thing she was an addict, and then she turned out to be a terrible mother to Ruby which was a huge turnoff. I might have seen it sooner if I wasn’t blinded by lust.” He pauses. “I coveted Zacky. He had a rich family, two parents, army decorated. I never wished him harm, but maybe my jealousy…maybe that cursed him somehow. I don’t know.”

I shut my eyes and wait for him to fall asleep. I hold back my last question with all my strength. Between my legs feels warm and juicy. I remember him squeezing on my titties.Blonde, pretty…big tits.

He likes that. And I bet mine are bigger than hers.

God help me. Save me. I’m drowning in sin.

My hand creeps lower. I move so, so slowly. I run my fingers under the waistband of the sweatpants.Yes, says my body.

Under my panties.

Yes. Lower. Lower.

“Crash?” I whisper.

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