Page 111 of Small Town Hunter

“You’re already ruining it,” she says.

“You know I’ve wanted you every day since I came back from Oklahoma.”

“Then just say so. Say that!”

“You’re leaving. Why wake it up?”

“Maybe I’d stay, dummy!” she says angrily, thumping my back. “Maybe I’d stay if you asked me.”

“You have a life in California, a real good one. Your family, your friends, and a job. I’m not such a selfish bastard I’d pull you away from that ‘cause I was lonely.”

“Well if you’re so convinced about everything, just sit down and eat the damned chicken. Just fake it for me so I don’t feel like everything between us is a lie.”

“It’s not a fucking lie, Trina. It’s not a lie to me.”

“Then ask me what you want to ask me, Crash.”

I turn around. “Okay,” I say. “Marry me.”

She backs away, eyes all wide.

“Trina, I do love you past all sense and reason.”

“Marry you — are you for real? You want us to get married?”

“In a year you can give your answer,” I tell her, fumbling for the words. “I didn’t want to pressure you while you were applying to schools.”

“A year,” she repeats numbly.

“I’ll wait, and I’ll ask you again. Properly. With a ring, a white horse, fireworks— whatever it takes.”

“Why— why wait?” She whispers. “I’m here right now. You know it’s ayes.”

“No. You go back to California and think about it. I’ll be here. I got time.”

“You think I’d turn you down?” She accuses.

“You have every reason to say no.”

We sit down at the table again. She looks shaken up and confused and I don’t blame her. My heart is jumping in a goddamned crazy rhythm.You son of a bitch, why’d you burst out with it like it was the goddamned weather report?

“Trina, I’m sorry.”

She picks up her fork but her hand shakes so bad it falls to the plate, then clatters to the floor.

I retrieve it, and when I get upright Trina’s buried her face in her hands.

I get her up and walk her to the couch. Foolish words come to mind but I keep it buttoned. I laid it out for her; what more needs to be said?

I sink into the couch and pull her into my lap. Her arms wrap around my neck and her fingers thread through my hair. A good sign…

“I would marry you,” she says into my neck.

“I love you,” I tell her.

“I love you too, Crash. So much.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. T, I just don’t know how to resolve it. How can I let you be yourself when I want you all for mines? You’re far away. I’m here. I got responsibilities and so do you.”

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