Page 31 of Letters to Satan

“Fun? That’s all this is?”

“It’s all it can be.”

He gives a noncommittal hum, like he isn’t convinced. “Tell me, Damien… do you enjoy your position?”

“Yes.” It’s a given, an automatic response, and I stop and make myself really consider what he’s asking. The identity of The Lucifer has been a part of me for so long that it’s woven into the fabric of my being. I don’t know what it’s like to not be in charge of the realm after two centuries.

What would it be like, not dealing with the headaches that come with being pulled in so many different directions all the time? To not be weighed down by the stress of so much responsibility every moment of every day?

But it’s not that simple. You can’t just step away without considering the consequences—and there would be plenty.

It hits me all at once that I’ve gone days with not a single thought about the Underworld. I’ve barely even spoken to Xalreth and haven’t asked for any updates from the realm.

“You don’t sound convinced,” Niklaus says, like my thoughts are broadcasting themselves.

“Of course I am,” I snap, more out of frustration with myself than anything. “What, do you think I’d drop two centuries of duty and responsibilities to play house with you because you’re a good lay? We are having fun, Nik, but that’s all this is. Don’t ruin it by wanting what you can’t have.”

Hurt flashes across his face before he masks it with a somber expression. He tears his eyes away and nods, busying himself by digging a towel from the cabinet. Guilt eats at my stomach, churning in my gut as I watch his jaw tense. “Take as long as you need,” he says, and turns to walk out.

“Nik,” I call after him, but he doesn’t turn around, just closes the door behind him with a soft click. Foreign emotions swirl through my mind as I sit in the steaming bath, staring mindlessly at the stone tile on the wall. A mess of confused thoughts are trapped in my head, not knowing the answers to the questions he threw at me.

Am I happy?

CouldI be happy?

Is that a luxury I deserve?

Water sluices down my body as I climb out of the tub and dry myself, wrapping the towel around my waist as I step into the bedroom. Nik sits on the edge of the bed, his back facing me as he flips through his phone, no doubt still working.

“Goodnight, then,” he calls over his shoulder, and the pinch in my chest at the dismissal is more painful than it should be.

Steeling my spine, I walk over and tug the phone from his hands, and his face tilts to mine as I sit it on the table and wrap my arms around his neck, climbing on to straddle his lap. “I don’t know how to be anything but the Devil,” I whisper like a secret between us, leaning forward to kiss his lips as he relents and wraps his arms around me. “Don’t know how to be sweet, or care for others, or not be a complete ass. I don’t know how to dothis.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, because youaresweet, and you care greatly for others. You just hide it by being an ass.”

I raise a brow at him. “You aren’t denying that part?” He shrugs, which makes both of us laugh, some of the tension dissipating. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“You can stay with me as long as you’d like,” he says, and fuck if my heart doesn’t take a nosedive at those words. “I just have one request.”

“What’s that?”

“If you’re going to break my heart, at least give me time to prepare. Can you do me that one courtesy?” Emerald eyes bore into mine, and all I can do is offer him a small nod as he pulls me in foranother kiss. I lose myself to the softness of his lips, and as his steady hands spin me to the bed beside him, I stop thinking and just allow myself to feel.

Chapter 11

Niklaus

Christmas deadlines are pointed at me like the barrel of a gun, and I’m just waiting for someone to pull the trigger. Everything is behind schedule, and if things continue at the current rate they’re going, we’ll be at a three percent shortage come Christmas Eve.

It sounds so small, doesn’t it? So insignificant.

But when you consider the sheer number of people on the planet, three percent starts to look a whole lot more substantial. Elf populations have dwindled in the past few decades, for no other reason than fewer childrenhave been born. And knowing this, knowing we would fall short, I failed to act.

My approach has been too lax, toolenient, all because I didn’t want to upset the elves by asking them to put in the extra hours needed. I’m suffering the consequences of my own soft heart.

Cadbury’s familiar knock taps against my door, and I invite him inside. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yeah,” I grunt, still staring at the endless papers before me.

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