Page 53 of Raising Hell

“It’s permanent.”

That causes me a moment’s hesitation. I love Amon and Cas and can say with certainty I always will, but what if they change their minds? What if they get sick of me, especially when…

I give a tiny shake of my head as Cas wails. “You’ll be bound to me forever?”

“We’ll be bound to each other,” Amon corrects. “Yes, forever.”

I sigh as I pull my lips back in a grimace. “That would be so selfish of me,” I whisper. “Binding you to me as I age. You’d be stuck with an old, wrinkly human with no way to move on if you got sick of me.”

“We’d never get sick of you!” Cas declares, swooping in for a bruising kiss. “We love you.”

“Right now you do. “What about in forty years?” Cas opens his mouth to argue, but I hold my hand up and shake my head. “Deny it all you want, Cas, but I have to think about this realistically, and that is a very real concern.”

Amon is cautious as he takes my hand. “What Cas is desperate to avoid mentioning is that the spell also combines our life expectancy.” The crease between my brows deepens as he squeezes my fingers. “Our remaining years would be combined and divided evenly among the three of us.”

My eyes flare at the implication, a shockwave of information blasting through my brain in an explosive rush. “But… how long do demons live?”

Amon shrugs, still observing me with careful eyes. “Most demons survive well into their second millennia.”

Two thousand years?!

The shock on my face must be obvious, because he offers me a gentle smile that’s so out of character that it snaps me out of my stupor. “And… how old are you?”

“A few years past my seven hundredth birthday,” Amon answers, before nodding towards Cas, who paces anxiously. “Cas is not yet three hundred.”

Quick math leaves me lightheaded. “If you have thirteen hundred years left, and Cas has seventeen hundred… Guys, no.No.” Frustration crosses Amon’s face as I rip my hands from his. “Absolutely not.”

“Rory—” He reaches for me again, but I stand and turn away, arms crossed as my gut clenches.

My voice shakes as I say, “As a human, I have fifty years of life remaining if I’m lucky. I willnotgive so little and take so much from you.”

Amon’s heavy hand lands on my shoulder and spins me to face him. “Rory, it would allow us over a thousand years to spend together.”

“At what cost?” I shout, darting my eyes towards Cas in search of backup. “I’d be stealing a third of both your lives! Lifetimes…millenniathat I could never repay!”

Cas steps forward and wraps me in his arms. “This is why I wanted to wait until after the spell to tell you. How many ways can I explain that we want this? What will it take for you to trust that we’re going into this with both eyes open?”

“You’d lose all those years…”

“Years we would have to live with nothing more than the memory of you. Amon and I have discussed this, Rory. That is no life, not after we’ve found you.”

“But you’d have each other,” I whisper into his chest as he hugs me tighter.

Amon sighs, cocooning both of us in his muscular arms. “Rory… I love Cas, and Cas loves me… but you’re the glue that holds everything together. If we lost you…”

“Wecan’tlose you,” Cas insists.

“Don’t force us to live this life without you,” Amon pleads, and I tilt my head up to look into his eyes. They’re solid black, the faint red glow pulsing behind them as he stares back at me. “This small amount of time we’ve had together… it’s not enough. It willneverbe enough. Please, baby… please don’t make us let you go.”

There’s that word Amon never uses.

Please.

For what seems like an eternity, we sit there wrapped up in each other, until finally, I draw in a deep breath. “Okay,” I whisper.

Cas squeaks and pulls away, immediately dropping an excited, wet kiss on my lips. “You’ll do it? You’ll stay with us?”

“I hate the sacrifice it takes,” I admit, and his sharp inhale tells me he’s getting ready to argue, so I hurry to continue, “but if you’re both positive it’s what you want, then yes. I’ll do it.”

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