Page 101 of The Devil's Pawn

“What would you like me to say, Alexander? You’ve made a statement. Are you looking for me to talk you out of your decision?”

My blood heats. I run my finger around my collar, my gut tightening. “I want you to do your fucking job, Lilian. I pay you enough.”

Her sigh irritates me further. It takes a monumental effort to keep my arse on the couch and not storm out the door. I came here for a reason. Cutting and running after I’ve cooled my heels outside for thirty goddamn minutes is not a good use of my time.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Why are you divorcing Imogen?”

“Because she deserves to be a mother, and I can’t give her a child.”

She taps her pen on her journal. “Remind me again whythat is?”

Lilian knows all too well why I don’t want children. She’s the only person outside the family who does. She’s playing a game. Fine. I’ll play it better.

“You know why.”

Lips pressed together, her features tightening, Lilian gives me her resting bitch face. “I see a lot of clients, Alexander. Humor me.”

“Annabel.” The anger in my voice is impossible to hide, even with a single word spoken.

“Oh, that’s right. You’re still letting fear control you.”

My hands fist. I clench them so fiercely, my knuckles whiten. “Incorrect.”

“Oh.” She feigns surprise. “Tell me more.”

“I am not letting fear control me. I’m making a decision for the good of my wife.”

“And what did she say when you told her why you’d like a divorce?”

Fidgeting, I avert my gaze. “I haven’t told her.”

“And you’re not going to, are you?”

“No.”

Lilian leans forward, stacking her forearms on her desk. “Don’t you think you should? Doesn’t she deserve to know why, after breaking through and finding happiness together, you’re suddenly changing your mind?”

Sometimes I wish I kept certain things to myself. Except Lilian has a way of loosening my lips without my being aware I’m sharing things I wouldn’t with anyone else.

My shoulders droop. “On Wednesday, I took her out on a date, and there was this child. A girl, six or seven maybe. She came off her bike and scuffed her knees, and Imogen…” I shake my head. “You should have seen her, Lilian. She was in her element giving comfort to that kid. I knew then I couldn’t commit her to a childless marriage.”

She sits back in her chair, sets down her pen, and closes her notebook. “Alexander, we’ve known each other for a long time, but as much progress as you’ve made from our initial meeting, you’ve never fully faced your demons. And until you do that, I meantrulydo that, you’ll never be able to make logical decisions in relation to whether or not to have children.”

I don’t agree. I’ve bared my soul in this fucking room. Several times. And logic is what I fucking do. I never make decisions,any decisions,without weighing up the consequences.

“I know what I’m doing, Lilian.”

“Well, then, you don’t need me, do you?”

My anger simmers on the drive back to Oakleigh. I don’t know what I’d wanted from Lilian. Absolution, maybe. Agreement with my decision. I should have known better. Lilian doesn’t give answers; she raises more questions.

I put in a call to my lawyer. He promises to have the papers in my inbox by tomorrow morning. I’ve asked him to include a large lump sum for Imogen, as well as a generous income for life. In return, she’ll be required to give me a no contest divorce.

I’ll hurt her, but I’ll hurt myself worse. This is the right thing to do. I’m doing it for her. She’ll get over this, over me, in no time. She’s young and vibrant. Once she’s not shackledto me, she’ll find the right man who can give her what she needs.

She deserves to live a happy and fulfilled life. I can’t offer her that.

I press the intercom and tell Douglas to turn the car around and take me to a hotel for the night. I can hardly go home, act as if nothing’s wrong, then serve my wife divorce papers in the morning. I send her a text letting her know I’ve been caught up at work and that I’ll see her tomorrow. It’s cruel but necessary.

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