Page 9 of Acid

It reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky…."

I mumble the words, ignoring everything, keeping my eyes on the wooden case holding the urn holding my dad’s ashes as it slowly rolls into the incinerator while the thick, fireproof curtains close.

"She's got the eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain, I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain…"

My tears fall, but I continue mumbling the words, my father on my mind.

"Come on Pez, sing with your old man!" Dad shouts over the blasting music, and I laugh as my hair goes everywhere from the wind coming in through the open windows.

We're on our way to the Hamptons in his dark blue 1967 Ford Mustang for a day at the beach. Dad found me in my room crying after Mom and Andrea went out to get their nails done. They did not invite me along, and instead of saying anything, he grabbed my hand and brought me to his precious car.

"Whoa oh, oh, sweet child o' mine," he sings off key, and I laugh before singing with him.

"Woah-oh, where do we go now?

No, no, no, no, no

Sweet child

Sweet child of mine."

The song finishes before it starts replaying, and the priest directs the people out of their seats one by one, but I still don't move.

"H-Hammer?" I hear Cass, but I don't look. "Can you take Mom, please?"

There's a pause before Mom passes, crying.

"Ol, can you give us a moment, please?" she asks, but still, my eyes stay glued to the closed curtains as I mumble the words to the song.

I feel Oliver squeeze my hand, and then kiss my head, before he whispers, "I'll be waiting outside, Tinker." Then he's gone.

I feel another kiss on my head, Eli's, "Love you, Pez," hitting my ears before I feel a squeeze to my shoulder and another kiss to my head, and then it's just me and my sister, my best friend.

"Whoa oh, Sweet child o' mine,"I mumble, and Cass kneels before me, her fingers gripping my chin, forcing me to look at her instead of the closed curtain.

Her hazel eyes, a little of Mom and Dad, stare back at me, full of grief.

"I know this is-is hard, but I-I need you to focus on me, just for a moment," she whispers, and I nod.

"I met with Dad's lawyer this morning with Mom. She-she wasn't crying in grief, she was-was crying with guilt, Pez," she admits, and I frown in confusion until she says, "Mom had an affair." My mouth parts, my eyes wide, and she nods, wiping my tears."The reason why Andrea is always around, why she latched onto you in school, is because she was hoping our mom would leave our dad for hers because her mom worked too much to spend time with her. Mom broke up her parents' marriage before refusing to leave dad but allowed Andrea round because they bonded after she spent time with her and her dad…." I grit my teeth at her truth, and she winces. "Yeah, Mom's a bitch and so is Andrea. She’s been using you."

I snort, my eyes going to the curtains, and I rasp, "Dad knew?"

She nods, and I look back at her as she states, "He left Mom nothing. All assets have been left to me to sort out between us. Mom is to get nothing; pictures of the affair were in the files, and, thankfully, Dad had Mom sign a prenup when they married, which stated any signs of fidelity, even after death, and she gets nothing." She sniffles. "He left you the Mustang." I shake my head, letting out a sob. She squeezes my hands and admits, "He also left you the gym, Pez. Mom tried to take the keys from the lawyer, but I grabbed them. It's yours, Perrie…."

"I-I don't want it," I cry, squeezing my eyes tight, not able to deal with this.

"Look at me," she whispers, and I shake my head. She squeezes my hands, and begs, "Please, Perrie, look at me." I do as asked, and she gives me a sad smile. "That gym was Dad's pride and joy, one you helped keep afloat without him knowing." She takes a deep breath. "Perrie, the safe still has 20% of the money you gave him, claiming to be sponsors. He paid the mortgage off on the property, and then the house with the rest, without anyone knowing. Don't waste his memory, please. This is his last wish; we don't need to tell anyone. The gym can stay closed until you are ready. Please…."

I sob but nod, and she continues, "He left the house to us both as well, and he's paid off my tuition, which I'm guessing I can thank you for…."

I cry, and she leans forward, taking me in her arms, and I fall apart, holding her close.

I don't want the house, the gym, or even his car; I want him.

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