Page 41 of Acid

I watch as my sister, who is still in her scrubs, takes in the differences of Dad’s gym. Her mouth opens a little in shock before she whispers, “Wow.”

I swallow hard, trying to ignore the pride I feel.

She left me yet stayed in the city….

Taking another deep breath, I ignore Cassidy and continue to wrap my ribs but end up grunting when I lift my left arm too high.

“Oh my God, Perrie!” she gasps in shock as she runs over to me.

“I’m okay,” I lie, and she snorts.

“And I’m the Virgin Mary,” she retorts, and I tilt my head at her.

I only heard from Cassidy once, and that was nearly a year after she left. There was no message, only a picture.

She clears her throat before gently grabbing the bandage from me and confirms, “She’s okay….”

But she didn’t bring her.

I nod, unwilling to start an argument, and ask, “And Natalie?”

She gives me a sad smile and admits, “Stable,” and I nod again as her eyes take in my bruises before she asks, “I thought you were the reigning champion?”

“I am,” I admit, “but I needed a distraction; I still won, though.”

Concern shines in her hazel eyes before they lower to my thighs, and I sigh when she whispers, “Cutting?”

I try not to flinch at the concern in her eyes, the hope that I haven’t done it.

“I haven’t in three years,” I answer reluctantly. “If I get the itch for it, I fight.”

Anger takes hold of her before she snaps, “You promised me you’d quit fighting, Perrie!”

Tears build, and I hate myself for it instantly. She’s got no right to lecture me when she left me alone.

“And then you left,” I spit back, and her eyes tear up, “and Acid slept with me then screwed Andrea a week later.” I bite back a sob. “She’s pregnant, Cass, and dear old Mother is on her side—surprise-surprise.”

“That son of….” Her words trail off as her hands shake with anger.

I sniffle as I wipe my cheeks, and look down, eyeing the cuts on my knuckles as I admit, “I needed to keep out of my head, Cass, otherwise, I’ll pick the razor up again. I know it.”

After Dad died, after finding out about Mom’s betrayal, and Acid knocking me back, I became depressed, not knowing how to handle my feelings, and I’d accidentally cut myself with a knife. The pain of the cut quieted my mind, and without thinking, I pressed the blade to my thigh. Cassidy found out three months later, catching me in the act.

“But, counseling, Pez, that was helping, wasn’t it?” she pleads, and my tears fall again.

I hate that I broke my promise, but I hate even more that she left.

“It was,” I admit, “but fighting gave me that reprieve I needed, and I swore it would be just that once, to get the pain out with you leaving but-but….” I squeeze my eyes tight before I speak the words that I haven’t been able to before, “Two men raped me….”

She freezes, her hands no longer moving, and I look at her.

She shakes her head, her tears falling, and she chokes, “No….”

I swallow hard and whisper, “It was the Aldo brothers, and I-I, I was pregnant, Cassidy, they knocked me up. I had an abortion….”

Her body trembles, her tears flowing, but I don’t move; I wait, trying to control the urge to cry my heart out.

“Who else knows?” she finally asks after a few minutes of silence.

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