Page 28 of Acid

I wasn’t supposed to be on this trip, but Steal took one look at me in the ring last night, my knuckles bloody, and demanded I sort my shit out, ready to leave first thing.

I didn’t argue.

I fucking tainted her, the most precious person in my life, and I tainted her with my fucking filth.

All those women, the men that held me down, Aiden, I tainted her with their touch….

Bile rises for what seems like the hundredth time, and I try to ignore it as I pull up outside the welcome sign, Anchor, the Rebel’s Road Captain, who, yes, has the same road name as our VP, which can be confusing as fuck sometimes, gives me a nod as I pull up next to him.

He raises a dark brow at me. “I didn’t realize you were coming today.”

I sigh, about to come up with some bullshit, but Piston opens his mouth, “He fucked Perrie.”

Son of a?—

I drop my head as Cannon and Steal walk over, hearing my brother's words as Anchor confirms, “His best friend?” while I try and figure out how in the fuck he knows until it hits.

The fucking cameras….

Piston answers Anchor, “Yeah,” before he shocks the shit out of all of us when he announces, “I had to get her out of jail last night.”

I turn and look at him and demand, “Say that a-fucking-gain!”

He chuckles, running a hand through his dark blonde hair, his dark green eyes locking with mine. "She called Nat. I answered, concerned about the unknown number. She got picked up for speeding. 120.”

My mouth parts as Steal chokes, “Well, that’s one way to try and run from heartbreak.”

I flinch.

I never should have touched her…she deserves better than me….

“Fuck,” I rasp, and Piston gives me a sympathetic smile and says, “She was okay. Natalie drove the Mustang back to the apartment while I came to the club. They had a girlie night with Aurora, though I don’t think she’ll be telling them anything, just wanting a distraction.”

I breathe deeply, trying to ignore the bile wanting to come up yet again.

Anchor tilts his head. “Do you love her? Like she would be wearing your cut if it weren’t for your past?” he asks, and I nod, knowing there’s no point lying. He sighs. “I can’t tell you what to do, and neither can your prez, where she is concerned, but you need to decide whether your love is something that can help you overcome your demons, or whether it’s strong enough to let her go and see her move on with someone else.”

I swallow hard but nod at his words, knowing he’s right.

I either get help to slay my demons, or I let her go, allow someone to make her theirs, and watch her fall in love, losing her from my life….

Fuck.

A Week Later

I nod to Cam and accept the scotch before taking a big sip.

I haven’t seen or spoken to Perrie since that day in the diner. Instead, I’ve spent all my time in the ring in the basement with Piston, trying to get my head straight, while he fights his own demons—both our demons wearing the same face, Aiden’s.

Most brothers think I’m overthinking shit and that she’ll understand the abuse we endured, but they don’t know how far my abuse went, whatIwas forced to do.

They don’t know how fucking dirty I am.

I sigh, running a hand through my hair; Anchor’s words have echoed in my head all week, and as much as I’d love to fight for her, to seek help for my problems, I just fucking can’t.

What I went through haunts me, and the thought of her knowing, of feeling disgusted and dirty, of seeing her look at me differently—I can’t, not after years of her looking at me like I’m her hero.

I know that seems cowardly, but my past, it’s my ruination.

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