Page 71 of Return To You

I snort and reply, “You should have hit the bitch.”

Natalie laughs but coughs to cover it as Noah’s body shakes. I turn in his arms, and my eyes go to the ink on his neck that wasn’t there this morning.

This man….

I smile as I gently bring my finger to the outline of our son’s name, ensuring I don’t touch the new tattoo. It’s not very big and doesn’t take up the whole side. It sits just under his ear, and has his date of birth under it.

“I thought I better keep it small because my plan, after we’re married, of course, is to keep you knocked up,” he admits ashe gently traces circles on my lower back. He knows my back usually hurts after a long shit, and the slight pressure he’s providing feels wonderful.

Oh, the joys of pregnancy and childbirth.

I look into his dark blue eyes, shining back at me with happiness, and I can’t help my words as I whisper, “I love you, Noah….”

He smiles and leans forward, rubbing his nose along mine, and returns, “I love you, too, Rose.”

I smile as Natalie murmurs, “Damn, that was so sweet.”

Noah grins and says, “We’re going to be okay.”

He says it several times a day, hoping that if he says it enough, I’ll believe it. I think I’m starting to, or at least I hope I am.

Kissing my lips gently, he murmurs, “Why don’t I help you finish your clean-up, and then you and I can go for a ride to the lake? We both know Mom won’t give up Diego for hours.”

I smile, wrapping my fingers around his neck before playing with his hair at its base. I whisper, “I think that would be awesome.”

He smiles and leans forward again, kissing my lips, and then my cheek, forehead, and nose, making me giggle, and shove him away.

He laughs, takes a seat next to me, grabs the pepper empties, and helps me finish the rest of my shift.

Things aren’t always going to be easy, and I still don’t trust him. Yes, there are times I think we’re making a mistake, but then he’ll look at me, and I know. I can’t live without him, and I know we have to do this.

We need to try, not just for Diego, but also for ourselves. Because, like Noah said, we belong together. Now, I need to see if I can return to him fully, or if we’re better off co-parenting.

twenty-five

Noah – One Month Later

I laughas Diego bangs on the drums with Cameron, giggling and laughing away.

The boys obsessed with them, much to Barnett’s dismay.

I wonder if Rose would be pissed if I bought some for the house in Kingstonville for him….

I grin at the thought.

“I haven’t seen you this happy since you saw Rose walk across the stage at graduation,” Nick says from beside me, and I nod.

“Fuck, I was so scared that day.” I smile at the memory. “She promised to be there—hell, she was the reason why I was walking that day, but when I couldn’t see her, I thought ‘this is it, this is the end of our relationship’.” Nick snorts, and I grin, admitting, “I knew then and there that I couldn’t go day by day not seeing her, that I wouldn’t manage the distance between us, even an hour away from town. But then there she was, shocking the shit outta me, and making me proud, all in one go.”

“It was a good day, son,” he rasps, and I nod, keeping my eyes on Diego.

I missed a whole fucking year of his life, and it’s all my fault….

We stand there, watching Diego for a few minutes, and I’m trying to push my guilt to the side just as Nick speaks again.

“You didn’t hesitate….” I look at him and frown, but he just smiles. “You didn’t even need Rose to confirm he was your son, and you didn’t hesitate.”

I half smile and look back at Diego as he claps at Cam, who’s trying to show him how to make a beat. I admit, “I saw this in my future back then. When I first met Rose, she mouthed off to me; I was a bitter, angry kid, yet I saw our future. I saw her having my kids and wearing my ring on her finger, while we toured after making it big. When I saw him in her arms, the pull I had to him, the resemblance…it was enough to knock me off my feet. That pull was consuming me. I wasn’t scared because I was suddenly a father, I was scared because I thought she’d never forgive me for cutting her out of my life the way I did. I was terrified he’d hate me for it.”

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