Page 23 of Return To You

I don’t know what I was hoping for most: the fact she may have cheated or the fact I left, misreading a situation and not hearing her out, disrespecting her, showing that I didn’t love her at all.

My love, though, yeah, it’s there because right now, the thought of walking into the oncoming traffic is enticing.

Dramatic? Maybe.

Do I care? No.

I drop my phone to the ground and push off the wall, putting one foot in front of the other, heading to the road, one word repeating in my head.

Pregnant….

Pregnant….

Just as I get one foot off the sidewalk, a, incoming car honking, a strong hand pulls me back, and I turn, making eye contact with Barnett. Cameron is standing just behind him, his hands on his head, shock and worry etching his features.

I notice my phone in Barnett's other hand and grab it, placing it in my pocket.

“What the fuck, Noah?” Barnett snaps, his eyes teary.

I shake my head and croak, “She’s pregnant with someone else’s baby,” before shoving away from him and walking down the street, heading to our shared condo, even though the urge to turn around and head into traffic again is strong.

I thought I could survive without her, but I can’t, I fucking can’t.

It doesn’t take long before I’m walking into our condo. I ignore everything, including the boys rushing behind me, asking how I know, and head straight to my room.

I feel them standing behind me as I look around my room. Photos of Rose hang on the wall, in some I’m grinning, others are with the boys, and my heart shatters knowing we really are over, that she did fucking cheat.

She didn’t fucking love me….

Shaking my head, I slam the door in the boys’ face, and head to my desk. I take a seat and grab my pen.

She’s moved on from what I thought we were, and it's time I did as well.

Tears sting my eyes, but I ignore them and grab the half-empty bottle of whiskey. I take a huge swig before pressing mypen on the paper, lyrics coming to mind, lyrics I’m hoping she fucking hears by the time she gives birth to someone else’s child.

I grab my guitar, which I bought on Rose’s eighteenth birthday, with a large rose painted on the back, and start to strum. I write the first verse, and the melody hits me, creating a new song.

Rose’s Thorns….

seven

Rose – Eighteen Years Old

I gently smileat the elderly man sitting in the booth as I grab his empty plate from in front of him, and turn toward the white counter with a red strip above it.

Natalie, another server and my friend, gives me a smile and takes the plate, while passing me another plate full of hash brown grits, and I turn, heading to table number five, trying to ignore the aches I feel.

My back hurts, my boobs are sore as hell, and my ankles are swollen, but I still smile, knowing it’ll give me the tips I need.

I’ve been at Katie’s Diner for six hours, not getting a break yet, with three hours still to go. After I finish here, I have two hours of online classes to attend. Then tomorrow, I have a five-hour shift, logging paperwork onto the computer system for Mr. Jarold at Jarold’s Family Law in town, before continuing more schoolwork.

I’m tired—drained really, but I keep pushing through.

I have to….

I’m a year into my online schooling, and I have plenty of experience within the field behind me, thanks to Mr. Jarold taking on a troubled teen. I can’t stop now, even if my body is slowly shutting down.

I give the overweight perve who’s trying to get a look down my dress a tight smile and drop his plate off, and head back to the counter.

---