Page 60 of Return To You

“Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want to interrupt, I fucking don’t, but the VIPs are waiting,” Joel says again.

I feel Noah shake his head, and slowly allow me to lower my legs. However, he doesn’t untangle his arms around me; instead, he places his forehead against mine as I grip his biceps.

His eyes flick between mine, and he whispers, “I have to sign some autographs and take some pictures, but as soon as I’m done, you and I are going home, and we’re going to talk about everything. Fuck my birthday party; you are the only person I want to spend the evening with. I, fuck, I can’t live without you any longer, Rose. I nearly drank myself to death two years ago. This time, if you leave me, if I lose you…I know I’ll succeed because you,” he swallows hard as my tears fall, “you and our son, you are my dream, my future—not music or touring or the fans,you twoare, and even before I knew about Diego, it was still always you….”

I bite my bottom lip to hold in my sob, and Noah grips me tighter before pressing his lips against mine in a quick, hard, searing kiss, then lets go of me, and walks away with his hands fisted.

I blink.

Holy….

“Oh yeah, you two are definitely going to be alright, and I look forward to getting to know you and your son on the next tour,” Joel says, chuckling, before I hear him walk away. I slowly close my eyes, allowing my tears to fall.

I don’t move from my spot for a few minutes, trying to control my emotions.

So much is going through my head and, honestly, I’m starting to feel sick with it all. I’ve had two years to fall apart, to be angry and mad, and now, I’m beginning to realize I’ve just been lonely without him. Hearing his words and his music, I know he’s been lonely without me as well, but that doesn’t change all those photos with other women, especially the one of Piper licking his neck.

It doesn’t change the fact he left me….

It also doesn’t explain why he’d choose to be with others, if he loved me that much, when I haven’t even looked at another guy romantically, because he’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I blink a few times, knowing that if I want answers to my questions, I need to ask them.

I know I can’t live without Noah; I’ve tried it for two years. I hardened my heart, but unfortunately for me, Noah still holds it in his hands.

Taking a deep breath, I turn, ready to face my fears head-on but phone goes off, and I grab it from my jeans pocket. I frown when I see a message from an unknown number.

Hating my curiosity, I open the message instead of deleting it, only to scoff at the picture sent to me.

Piper is sprawled naked over a passed-out Noah, and when I say passed out, I mean there’s a bottle of liquor lying next to him on the large bed, passed out.

A laugh bubbles up, knowing this was most likely from Piper or Gina. They probably got my number from Tamera’s phonewithout her knowing, which means they must see something I don’t as far as Noah and I are concerned.

I know they were in the crowd; I saw them with his parents in the family section.

They’re trying to convince me he screwed Piper, it’s not that she’s smirking in the camera, clearly showing she wasn’t drinking, which was a dumb move on her part. No, it’s the fact the sheet isn’t covering Noah well, and I can see his jeans still on and still buttoned. It proves how stupid they are.

Shaking my head, I put my phone back in my pocket and head to the green room, where the boys were doing meet-and-greets.

Apparently, Cameron and Barnett like to take advantage of it with the female fans but have promised to keep their clothes on today. When I asked what Noah does, Cam just grinned and walked away.

Not sure if that’s a good sign or a bad one just yet.

With a fire lit under my butt, I walk into the green room, which, funny enough, has a green back wall, but I instantly stop at the image before me, and defeat hits hard.

I’m not enough for him, I won’t keep him happy in this life, and this proves it.

With tears falling yet again, I turn and leave without saying a word about some dark-haired girl in a short dress kissing Noah, filling my brain and killing me.

I don’t know if he was kissing her back, and honestly, I don’t care. Okay, that’s a lie; I do care, but seeing that just proves I’m not for this life.

I can’t sit back day in and day out, and watch girls throw themselves at the man I love. I already have trust issues with him leaving the way he did. This happening daily will tear us apart, and I can’t deal with the pain that will bring.

We need to co-parent for Diego’s sake, and that’s it.

With a heavy, defeated heart, I leave the stadium where the concert was held and hail a cab, hoping my father will pay for it because, well, I’m officially broke after changing my train ticket to a flexible one.

Thankfully, I have $100 in a jar at home, and that should be enough until I get paid in a week.

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