Page 52 of Return To You

I look back at Al, and he nods again, so I know he heard Barnett.

“Fucking fight for her, Noah, fight with everything you have within you, show her what she means to you….”

I nod at his words.

Fight….

I’ll fucking fight until I can’t breathe. She’s proved she still loves me, and now I have to prove to her that she’s been my only.

seventeen

Rose

I frown,looking around my old room, seeing if I’ve forgotten anything while searching for something at the same time, knowing I won’t be back anytime soon, especially after catching a glimpse of Alejandro leaning against the old oak tree just outside the yard, watching like some creeper yesterday, and then again today.

I don’t want a showdown with him; I don’t want to even speak to him. He allowed Vanessa to hit me, and then told me I was dead to him.

I can’t deal with him. I refuse to.

“Where are you?” I mutter as I look around the room again, a frown creasing my forehead.

Seriously, if I don’t find this, I’m going to have to fork out another $4 for a new one, and it's money I can’t waste right now.

Frustration builds until I catch sight of something blue underneath my bed and realize it’s Diego’s pacifier.

“Ah, there you are,” I murmur with relief, and run to grab it.

This thing has become a lifeline during the night. I’m trying to ween him off the breast now that he’s one, but it’s not easy, and this little thing is a miracle worker.

For the past three weeks, he has slept through the night. I could kiss the person who invented this.

I place the pacifier into my bag and look around the room again, sadness filling me.

Yesterday was, well, weird. Everyone was celebrating, people who turned their backs on me were suddenly there for Diego’s first birthday. It’s hard not to feel bitter, and then Al moping around, hoping I’d change my mind and invite him in.

And don’t get me started on Noah’s confession in the kitchen.

After he came back into the living area with Barnett, he had quite a determined look on his face, a look I didn’t want to decipher and still don’t. He left me, listened to lies, and threw me out in the cold, with a baby to boot.

There’s no coming back from that, even if my heart wants to grab on tightly.

Things aren’t how they are supposed to be, but it’s life, and we have to make do and keep pushing forward, which means I need to go home.

I sigh as I pick up my duffel bag. My dad wanted me to stay for a little longer, just a few more days, but I don’t think my heart can take it, especially knowing Noah has his concert in two days, where he’ll sing songs all about our so-called break up. Maybe he needs to write one about his screw up and call it “I’m an idiot and should beg on my knees for forgiveness.”

I wince at my thoughts. Yeah, I need to leave….

Chewing my bottom lip, I look around my room one last time before taking a deep breath and turning to leave, placing the bag strap on my shoulder. The plan is to stay at a motel tonight, which is kind of breaking the bank a little bit, which is why Ican’t afford to replace Diego’s pacifier, but I know my dad will try and convince me to stay longer, and I can’t.

Diego and I will catch the train home first thing in the morning; I just haven’t told my father yet, or Noah, for that matter.

That’s definitely not going to go down well.

Maybe I could just text them….

I wince again at how pathetic I’m being. I’m a strong, independent woman…who cries in the shower….

Hearing voices when I get to the top of the stairs, I freeze for a moment, ensuring it’s not my brother, but sigh in relief when I recognize it’s Cameron, only to freeze again wondering why he’s here.

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