Page 27 of Return To You

I quickly nurse Diego before bathing him, and settling him down. It’s only when he’s asleep that I shower ,before dressing in Noah’s black button-down shirt. Then, I take a seat on the couch with my laptop and get my schoolwork done.

I don’t allow myself to think of the past, my family, or Noah. I focus on my work, knowing that, after I’ve done this, I’ll cry myself to sleep like I always do before Diego wakes for his 1 AM feeding.

eight

Noah – Eight Months Later

“Fuck that was amazing!”Barnett shouts as we leave the stage, the crowd screaming for another song.

Cameron chuckles, while I half smile, taking the water from the cooler, and then gulping it. My throat is sore, my body tired, and, fuck, am I sweating.

After eight months of touring, we’ve become bigger than I ever dreamed, winning Grammys and AMAs. All our shows have been sold out, our record’s a hit, and it's fucking amazing, a dream come true, and yet I feel fucking empty.

Have for nearly two years.

I watch as Cameron and Barnett joke around, pushing each other while they walk over to the green room where some VIP fans are waiting for us. I don’t want to follow; I’d rather go back to the hotel and have a drink before going to bed, but I don’t have a choice.

For months, the label has forced us to go out to clubs and take pictures with fans, mostly women. We had to get our names out there any way we could, and the boys lapped it up whileI, well, I fucking felt like I was cheating, even though I never touched any of the women.

Pathetic right, that I felt like I was cheating by just smiling and wrapping my arm around a woman, whenshecheated, when she had someone else’s child….

I miss her, I miss her so fucking much, but I’m trying to move forward, move on….

I’ve gone on a few dates lately. I promise myself to give them my all, but each time I meet with them somewhere public, I can’t get into it. They try to touch me, and I cringe, but I’m getting better, or at least I think I am.

My date last night lasted a whole hour before I made some excuse.

It just fucking sucks; my body only wants one person, but I can’t have her, and even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to trust her, and trust is a huge part of a relationship.

And could I really raise someone else’s child?

Barnett turns and walks backward, grinning wide. "Are you ready for your 21st birthday party next week after our last show?”

I chuckle. “I said no to a party.”

He shrugs. “I never heard that.”

Snorting, Cameron shoves him inside the green room before sending me a wink, and I snort, knowing he’s about to get his dick wet.

He’s one man who has taken advantage of this lifestyle, that’s for sure. While he and Barnett have been living it up, buying shit they don’t need, and hooking up, I’ve been playing it safe. I bought a big house back home on Kings Close, a homeweused to speak about, and I save my money like my ass was on fire—the trailer park boy inside still concerned about losing everything.

I love my mom, I do, but she never tried hard enough in life to leave the trailer park.

Shaking my head, I walk into the green room.

Barnett already has his top off, making out with some girl, which has to be some sort of record for him, while Cameron has two girls, one under each arm, and one actually licking his sweat off his neck. I cringe; that shit’s just plain nasty.

He gives me a wonky smile, and I chuckle and head to a group of guys near the drinks table, passing a dolled-up Piper watching me like a hawk, still trying her hardest to get in my bed.

The bitch now works with our managers, taking on an internship with them, which means she’s around all the fucking time, and I swear, if she tries to hold my hand one more time, I’m going on fucking strike until she’s put somewhere else.

There can’t be The Delinquents without their lead singer and owner to all the fucking songs, the song rights one thing I refused to give to the label.

Just as I get near the guys to give them my autograph so I can get the hell outta here, some busty blonde steps before me, making me halt and nearly knock into her.

I raise a brow as she pushes her large tits up, twirling her finger in her bleach-blonde hair, her eyes eating up my bare chest.

“Hey Noah,” she rasps, trying to be sexy, but it comes out whiny.

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