Page 57 of The Dating Contract

He was used to pivoting, changing his ideas and choices. He hadn’t expected to be able to go back into lettering, but Liam had been there right when he needed, as the contacts for various lettering assignments came in. One from the Mitzvah Alliance, which led to the poster for the Goldstone Saga series.

And yet he didn’t know how to react to this single pivot. “Wow.”

Aaron looked at him; if he were in a comic panel, he’d have instructions to letter a rather large question mark over his brother’s head. “What gives?”

He loved letters, loved writing them in different ways, but apparently he had the use of none of them in this situation. “I…uh…”

“Not that it matters,” Aaron continued as if he hadn’t said anything, “but I’d think you’d be a little more excited about this. Isn’t this the last test you needed to pass through as a sofer?”

“It is.”

“And what exactly is going on in your head?”

He didn’t know how to answer; that was the problem. Words wove in and out of his head. None of them stuck, except the text he’d sent Leah that she hadn’t responded to.

“Do you have any mysterious meetings this week?”

That he could answer. “Liam wants time with me this week,” he said. “He made a big deal of it at the gala.

“I mean,” Aaron said, the words sounding exactly as annoyed as the sigh heralded they would, “this is nothing new, Samuel. I can see you weighing your options and whatever mysterious whatever that you think Liam is about to throw your way stuck behind a barrier of stress and indecision. Because here’s the thing. You have to decide.”

Predictable as ever. Leah had correctly told him that he needed a poker face, but more importantly, he needed a response to his brother’s inquiry. “I am deciding.”

“Really?” Aaron said. “About what want to do with your life?”

“Yes?”

“Both personally and professionally, and by the agonized look on your face, I can tell that the last thing you want in this world is to do this Sefer Torah, the thing you’ve been working toward most of your professional life.”

It was Samuel’s turn to sigh, and run his hand through his hair in agony. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know what to say.”

“No,” Aaron said. “You know what the right words are. You’re just afraid to use them.”

“I don’t want to disappoint Moreh, my teacher who spent years on someone who came from art school,” he said, “or Mom and Dad or you…”

“Hiding behind disappointing people including your teacher, is not the bravery you think it is.”

“I don’t think it’s bravery at all,” Samuel said. “It’s…I just want to make sure things run smoothly, you know?”

“Yes. Exactly. Because perfectionism is really the value you want to exhibit right now. But this is what you need to know.”

“What?”

“You’re not being brave or smart or loyal by stalling You’re not giving people space by vehemently refusing to take up your own.”

“But…”

“No buts, no wondering, no questions. Nothing. Because I’m trying to understand this.”

“Okay,” he said, as if his brother hadn’t dropped enough on his shoulders. “What else are you trying to understand?”

“Leah. What does Leah think of any of this?”

He blinked. The very last thing he expected to discuss with his brother, here and now in the office, was the situation with Leah. “I’m confused. What do you mean?”

“Let’s not beat around the bush. At all. You didn’t just reach for the random person to play your girlfriend at the expo. You want her back, right?”

“I don’t want to ask for miracles.”

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