Page 123 of Gilded Saint

“Ah, one of those.”

“There are people pretty high up in the US government who can’t know, so yeah, one of those.”

Too many politicians are bought. If some of the corrupt members on the intelligence committee got wind, I would’ve been eliminated years ago.

“You know what the craziest part of this is…your sister. She knew you were alive. I thought she couldn’t accept the truth, but she knew. In her gut.”

“She’s a wise one. I’d hoped both Sage and Sloane would think about the duffels I created for them and, at the very least, hope I’d made myself disappear.”

“And that woman in the bar? She was a plant.”

“Not a good one. Clearly. You left her.”

“I hated myself for that. For years. Thought if I’d gone with you…” He angles his head and looks away like it’s too painful to look at me while he remembers.

“I’ll never make that up to you,” I say, knowing it’s the god’s honest truth. I could’ve trusted him. Could’ve broken protocol and read him in, but it felt too risky, too wrong. His reaction, everyone’s reaction, needed to be believable. My allegiance had been to my country above all else.

Crunching leaves and twigs alert us of someone approaching in the woods. Knox sits up, looking down the slope, but he doesn’t appear nervous. He’s simply alert.

Sloane comes into view first, followed by Max. Sloane stops when she sees us, then charges forward. I stand to greet her, and brace myself. Sloane shoots straight. I deserve whatever she throws at me.

When she reaches me, her gaze falls to my feet. It’s the pink around her eyes and tear-splotched skin that guts me. “You hurt us,” she says. “Why?”

Agitation practically vibrates off her. She’s controlling her emotions, but it’s hard. I brought this on her.

“I was on a project with some people who believe in retribution. You and Sage are my only family. I didn’t want them coming after you to get back at me.” She says nothing, and that makes me feel like I need to say more. “I was deep undercover.”

Max approaches behind her, and his fingers touch her hip.

“Do you have any idea what you did to Sage? How much you hurt her?”

“I do.” Defense is on the tip of my tongue, to tell her it wasn’t supposed to last so long, that what I was doing was important, that the information I gathered was critical, but I swallow it all down. “I love you, Sloaney.” Her lips press into a flat line, and tears cascade down her cheeks. “I love both of you. It would’ve killed me if you got wrapped up in my shit. I don’t expect your forgiveness, but you need to know the only reason we took that approach is because of your safety, and Sage’s safety. That’s the most important thing to me. Always will be.”

She sniffs, and I’m not sure she’s aware, but her foot taps the ground. “You were doing your job, and I understand doing your job. But we needed you, and you weren’t here.”

And that’s the hell of it. She’s absolutely right. I couldn’t be in two places at once. While I was off playing secret agent, I wasn’t where I should be, helping my sisters when they needed me.

She shuffles up against me, head down. I hold her as she sobs. Max stands near the Adirondack chair, appearing as helpless as I feel.

A hard punch into my side has me curving against pain. “Ow.”

But she doesn’t stop. She pummels my ribs. Batting me, gaze focused on my chest. Mom would shout, tell her not to hit. But she needs this. I can take it. I deserve it.

Max says, “Sloane. Babe.”

His words are soft, and she lowers her fists. The recognition that he’s her person now smacks a raw spot in my chest.

“I love you too.” With her lower lip protruding and gaze down, it’s like she’s a reprimanded kid and been told to apologize. Maybe she hears Mom’s voice, too.

She steps past the fire pit, away from me, but she stops at the sliding door. “I’m glad you’re alive. Are you home for good, or are you going away again?”

Knox’s gaze snaps up from the paver he’d been studying, and it’s clear he’s got the same questions. Max stands back, hands shoved in his pockets, observing.

“I’m home for good. We’re home for good.”

“Don’t do this again.” Her voice cracks.

“You have my word. Scout’s honor.”

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