Page 96 of Gilded Saint

“What did you hear?” Shit.

“I’m trying to piece—” She closes her eyelids and her lips purse. “I don’t care who is coming after you. Take me with you. Don’t leave me.”

My heart implodes. I wasn’t supposed to have to say goodbye to her. I have nothing prepared for this moment, and I sure as hell am unprepared for how difficult it is to breathe or for the excruciating pain slicing through me.

She places herself in my arms, and her youthful, sweet scent surrounds me. I close my eyes, blocking out the world, and it’s only the two of us.Wishful thinking.

“Wherever you’re going, take me.” Her plea brings me back, a reminder of what I must do. If it was just me, running away with her with a plan to kill anyone who tracked us down could work. But it’s not just me. It’s my sisters. My friends. The life I left behind and all those I love.

“I can’t.”

“You’re going for good?” Her voice quivers, and it’s like shrapnel in the aftermath of an explosion, painful and lethal.

The plan is in motion, but it might not happen for days. Weeks. How the hell am I going to survive days of goodbyes?

“I love you. I know it was supposed to be an arrangement. I know it wasn’t supposed to be real, but it is. To me, it is.”

I close my eyes, resting the side of my face against the top of her head, clinging to her. It’s real for me too. God, I love her. I don’t know when I fell for her, but I don’t remember ever loving someone like this, ever hurting like this for another person.

“If you don’t love me, that’s fine. I can go wherever you need to go. I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

With her clasped tight against me to avoid her tear-filled eyes, I admit, “Fuck, Willow. I love you too. So much. Too much to take you with me.”

She claws away, struggling against my hold. Her tear-streaked face kills me. Dead on sight.

“I can’t,” I insist.

I want to, god knows I want to, but wanting is not justification.

“Are you having Nick arrested? It wouldn’t be the Lupi Grigi coming after you. It would be the syndicate. Are all the syndicate partners going to be hunting you? Was that what Leandro?—”

Damn, she’s smart. But she’s grasping. Desperate to piece it together.

“Leandro wanted you. There was nothing else. You’ll always need to be wary of Massimo. I don’t trust the Lupi Grigi. Your father’s place in the family helps, but they’re vengeful.”

Her bottom lip trembles, and fuck if the room doesn’t blur. “Don’t leave me.”

“You can’t leave your family. I can’t take you from them.”

“You’re my family.”

“To leave them for good is a pain you will never know.”

“Because you left family behind…” Her bottom lip trembles as she pieces it together.

I pull her back against me because I can’t bear her tear-filled eyes. It hurts too much. I have to be strong. For her, for my sisters. Jesus. This isn’t goodbye, but now that she’s figured it out, it needs to be.Fuck.

I choke back emotion. Gather my strength. “We have some flats to check out. Ones that aren’t in skyscrapers. You’ll like them better. You’ll be happier.”

“Don’t say that.”

Steam fogs the glass and mirrors. I stroke a thumb over her lower lip. In a perfect world, I’d tell her I’ll never leave. I’d strip her of clothes and take her in the shower, the very shower where we began.

But it’s not a perfect world. And the countdown has begun. The pain slicing through me aches more than anything I’ve ever experienced, and given my background, that’s saying a lot. I’ve swum miles in frigid water, carried weight until my muscles fatigued, and watched from afar as my sisters cried at my memorial. But I am without choices. And I don’t give up. I never give up. I soldier forward, and I complete my missions.

Chapter33

Willow

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