Page 71 of Sinful Beauty

Lucia

Tristan: I behaved poorly. Can I come over?

Me: There’s no need.

Tristan: No matter what you decide, I will be there for you. Please don’t let my behavior lead you to believe otherwise. Please let me come over. We should talk. I’ll bring you dinner.

Me: Thanks, but I’m really not feeling well. I need to sleep so I can think. I haven’t made up my mind about anything.

Tristan: What are your symptoms?

Me: Nausea

Tristan: Can I make a doctor’s appointment? We can go together.

Me: If I’m still feeling poorly in the morning, I’ll make an appointment.

Tristan: Can I go with you?

Me: If you would like

Tristan: I’d like to bring you to my family physician

Me: That’s unnecessary

Tristan: Please?

Me: If I need the appointment, I’ll let you know.

Tristan: Can we plan on dinner tomorrow night? At my place? Anything you want. We need to talk and I’ve been told I need to grovel.

Me: Tomorrow after work I’ll swing by yours.

Tristan: You’re going to work tomorrow?

Me: Yes

Tristan: I’ll see you in the morning. Please let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.

I read through our text exchange from yesterday for the hundredth time and smile. Tristan could stand to up his groveling game, but I’m a fool and every time I read that exchange, warmth blooms. My body reacts with warmth because I am a fool.

When I screenshot the exchange and sent it to Kehlani, she called me and said that she knew that no matter what I decided, it would be okay. She reminded me I can be reactionary and hotheaded, too. Basically, she said that I shouldn’t hate him for his initial reaction.

I suppose his initial reaction was better than mine. All I could do was cry.

My hand rubs absently over my flat stomach as I check the weather. There’s a front coming in. Sleet will make for a miserable walk to work. I change out of the skirt and silk shirt, and put on a sweater dress and knee high black leather boots.

Nausea rises from nowhere, and I rush to the toilet. After dry heaving, I force myself to take in some tea and honey, and to nibble on crackers.

My hands are shaky, and I’m fairly certain it’s because I haven’t been able to eat anything in twenty-four hours. I might need to go to the doctor sooner rather than later to get advice on how to manage the nausea. Surely I need to be eating for the baby.

I catch my reflection in the mirror. I haven’t yet decided, but perhaps I have. Or no, I haven’t. My emotions are all over the place.

If the apothecary was open earlier, I could stop by and pick something up for my nausea on the way to work.

There’s a rap against the door.Tristan.

I told him we’d meet this evening. Arriving at my place this morning pushes the line of decorum. But, I’ll let it slide. Perhaps it is better if we talk before work. I’m not opposed to seeing what he considers groveling, either.

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