Lottie examined me for several seconds. “Should I be concerned?”
“About my mental health? Ye tell me.”
“There’s been some big events in your life recently, and it would be understandable if they’d rattled ye, even without that threat. It could be a good idea to go over the write-ups from your sessions with Doctor Hillier.”
As a teenager, I’d seen a therapist who’d helped me handle the overwhelming feelings that plagued me every day. She’d told me I had post-traumatic stress disorder alongside attachment issues. I had techniques to manage my triggers and low points, but facing that shite felt like such a drag.
I groaned and pulled a face. “Ye steal one man and everyone thinks you’re crazy.”
“I never said that. What I mean is your tough time at college led to the abandonment of your studies, followed by a fair amount of soul-searching over what to do with your life. Then there was the living at Arran’s warehouse.”
“It’s no mystery why I was there,” I grumbled.
“Because of your ma. I know. Ye wanted to understand what her life had been like to clue in to what yours could be. Just remember, you’re your own person, and a strong one at that. Ye have choices she never did.”
I pondered this, watching Lottie potter around with the last of the dinner prep. “Even though I’ve never found anyone who met her, I bet it’s safe to say she never kidnapped a man.”
The returning smile was soft. “I think you’re probably right. I wish we didn’t have to go tomorrow, but it can’t be helped. When we’re back, we can have a long talk.”
Lottie had a hospital appointment in Edinburgh and was also suffering motion sickness, so didn’t want to do the long drive twice in one day. I hadn’t pressed for more details, knowing she’d share when ready. But yeah, definitely preggo.
“Promise me you’ll go over those therapy notes?”
I jumped up, hugged her, and gave her my yes, then returned to my sous chef duties.
With dinner plated up, I hollered for the family to come in. Sin and Lottie’s two younger kids, Daphne and Magnus, plus Wren, Camden and Breeze’s dainty little daughter, were the only three home. Their older siblings and cousins were spending the week at school camp, and all the younger kids were away with their parents.
It still made for a noisy meal, and I slid glances at a silent Riordan who ate his chicken like he was starved but made no effort to talk. No matter. We took some getting used to, and this was an easy way into our family dynamic.
When we were done, Sin took on clean-up duties, refusing Riordan’s offer of help. Lottie directed the children into the great hall so they could run around and burn off their instant energy boost, heavy autumn rain preventing them from doing so outside.
It left me and Riordan alone, with Sin the other end of the kitchen, clattering pans. My captive stood as if to leave.
“I need to ring your sisters.”
He stalled. “Why?”
“So I can explain what I did?”
His forehead lined. “Is that necessary?”
“Girl code. I stole their brother. They should hear it from me, if Arran hasn’t spilled already.”
To my surprise, instead of a snarl, he uttered a bark of a laugh and dropped back down to his seat. “This will be good. Before you do that, I need to know how long I have to stay.”
I shrugged. “With me? Forever. In this house, maybe a couple of days?”
At the end of the kitchen, Sin swung open the door of the utility room and disappeared inside.
Riordan watched him go then returned his gaze to me. “How can you say things like that?”
My breathing quickened. This was an opportunity to explain myself. To make him understand the shock I’d got on first sight of him, down on the floor of the warehouse’s nightclub when he’d been in the middle of a fight to protect Genevieve.
Riordan had stormed the warehouse, assuming his sister was in danger. Jamieson, the youngest of my brothers, had been the one to finally restrain him. I’d been dancing on a pillar and had remained there, admiring his protective instinct and the way his t-shirt rode up his taut stomach in the scrap. The happiest feeling had filled me at the realisation of what I wanted him to be. The bigminestatement my brain had made.
Instant, complete, and forever.
But I couldn’t find the words.